The Hollier Family

Nate- 4 months

2012-01-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

I feel really bad that it's taken me this long to post! Nate turned four months on the 26th of December and is closer to five months at this point! Oh well...better late than never.

At 4 months...
Nate is in full teething mode...and WAS sleeping through the night, but not anymore. :(
Wearing size 3 diapers, size 3 shoes, and size 3-6 months clothes
Loving his oatmeal and baby food. Not crazy about peas, but really who is???
Rolling over, scooting, and starting to sit up by himself though he prefers just rolling over onto his tummy.
Getting better about tummy time, but enjoys being in the exercauser more
LOVES watching his brother do everything. He just watches and grins.
Such a happy baby...always smiling.
Cutting teeth pretty bad so he's always got his fingers in his mouth...even more than normal.

Sam at 29 months...
LOVES talking and playing with his brother...his favorite things to say are: "Hey, Nate!" and "Here ya go!"
Know his name, momma's name, daddy's name, brother's name, what city he lives in, and the cities of all his grandparents, his birthday, what momma does (teacher), where momma works, what daddy does (preacher), and where daddy works.
Imagination is unbelievable right now...tonight we were playing outside and he was mixing up sticks and water in the fire pit and said he was making squirrel stew. Then he chased all the squirrels yelling out them to eat his soup.
Loves reading his Bible stories every night. He's a creature of habit just like his momma. But he remembers everything from the stories we read so far, that kid NEVER forgets anything.
Favorite sayings: "Aw man!", "Um, I'm thinking...", and "Where?" Most kids always ask why, nope not my kid. He always asks "where?"
Loves going to church seeing his friends.

Lessons learned along the way

2011-12-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

Let me just say this first...I love being a mommy. I do. It's the most rewarding experience ever, and I'm incredibly thankful that God has given us TWO amazing blessings.

BUT....since having children my insecurity level has skyrocketed! Before I used to be insecure about my body or my hair or something like that, but nothing makes you more insecure than other mommies who have kids the same age as your own kids. Why is that? You hear it all the time that every kid is different and that they learn at their own pace, but why is it when your kid seems to be the one behind you freak out inside. Am I doing enough? I'm not spending enough time with them. I should provide some crafty activity to help my child learn his stinking colors, right? Why can't he get them...we've been doing colors for FOREVER!!!! And he's 28 months and still not using the potty. Other kids are already totally potty trained. It must be because I work full time and have a crazy life. We're never home, maybe that's it. Okay, that's it! I'm quitting my job and losing all socialization so that my child will finally learn his colors and pee in that stupid potty!!!! (Obviously an exaggeration though I will admit to thinking these things) And don't get me started on the second one. I'm determined that he will have just as many pictures as Sam and he will be read to and talked to just as much as Sam did...even though I'm running ragged doing potty training business. And the thoughts go on and on and on.

I know that people blog and post about their children because they're proud of their achievements. I've even done that a time or two. But sometimes I feel like it's just a mommy competition. Almost like a prize that you're a great mom and that you can get your kid to read by age 2 because you're awesome and I'm not. I'm human. I'm exhausted. I teach other people's children all day and when I come home, I want to love on my boys not be teacher to them, too. Is that wrong? Maybe. I don't know. I love teaching Sam...I just don't want to feel like I'm constantly quizzing and teaching him to make sure he's ABOVE where he needs to be because so and so's kid can do this.

I'm being brutally honest, because that's how I feel. There are days when I feel like a great mom. Sam will say something or do something that is so sweet. His prayers are about the sweetest things ever. And Nate is already doing things before Sam did, which makes me super proud that he's getting challenged even with a crazy brother running around keeping us busy. But then, I read someone's blog. Their baby is potty trained and reading paragraphs. Their 4 month old is already sitting up by themselves. Maybe I should just blog and refuse to read others blogs, facebook, etc.

Is it just me or is this a "normal" mom struggle??? I'm praying DAILY that God would make me secure in HIM. Not in my uncool hairstyle or my son who refuses to potty in the awesome potty chair we have for him or my 4 month old whose not sitting up yet or my awesome husband who is doing all our holiday baking while I recuperate from a bum toe. I've always struggled with being insecure...since childhood. I thought this would get better but apparently the struggles of a child (if not dealt with) only turn into the struggles of an adult. And adult sized struggles can really get to you.

So here's to this momma becoming a less media involved, others focused momma and becoming a more God focused, family focused momma. :)

You'll wake up one day and....

2011-12-19T15:08:00.000-08:00

People used to tell me all the time when I was pregnant, "You'll wake up one day and you'll think you've grown over night." (FYI...totally true) Or after I had Sam they said, "You'll wake up one day and all of a sudden they're grown." Today that moment happened for me with Sam. I've always known that time has and will fly by, but it seems like more and more each day the days are going by faster. Yesterday I was making Sam a pb&j (his favorite) and I asked him to sit on his bottom at the table. We don't have a booster seat anymore for him and he LOVES being able to climb onto the chair himself. So I told him to sit down and he just looked at me and said why? He's NEVER even muttered the word before. All of a sudden, I realized we were entering a new territory. So I explained to him that if he didn't sit on his bottom he might fall and hurt himself. To which he then told me he would cry! Later that day I was sitting with Nate in my lap and Sam wanted to climb up. So here I was sitting with BOTH boys in my lap and all of a sudden Nate's little hand touched Sam's arm. I thought it was so sweet and before I could soak in the moment Sam looked at Nate, removed his hand, and said "No Nate. Stop." Where did that come from? All of a sudden, my little toddler is growing into a little boy and my baby is quickly rolling and scooting into a bigger baby. :( People told me that with each child you have the time flies by faster. I'm really starting to believe them! I'm missing my boys so much right now! I had planned on hanging out with them over the break but I had to have a minor procedure done to my toe and haven't been able to walk around much. My mom kept the boys over the weekend and I thought that would be long enough for me to heal, but it wasn't. So now my sister in law kept them today and my mother in law will keep them tomorrow. Hopefully that will be long enough for me to get somewhat back to normal. I miss them so bad! I'm so thankful that they are both sweet, happy boys. And I'm so thankful that we haven't had to do a spanking or time out on Sam in I can't remember how long! Yay! I'm thanking Jesus for that everyday! Speaking of thanking Jesus, that's another thing Sam has started doing. He thanks Jesus at meals and He prays at night now. Kinda makes me sad, but proud at the same time. It's always interesting to see who he thanks God for each night. Nate has started rolling over now (way before Sam did) and it's funny to see him immediately roll over as soon as he lays on his back. He even rolls over in bed when we put him on his wedge! He has also started scooting. I can leave the room and when I come back he's rolled over and scooted somewhere else! The first time he rolled over I was so excited and I ran to Sam and said, "Look! Nate rolled over!" Sam just walked over to him and rolled him back onto his back! I laughed so hard! Nate is such a happy baby! He loves to talk and squeal with delight. Most mornings that's how he wakes us up and talking or rather yelling. He is such a blessing to this family and I already can't imagine what our little family would be like without him. I'm extremely blessed by my God and need to stop and thank Him more for what He does for me. I'm praying that sometime during this busy season you would stop and thank God for what He's done for you. He's blessed each and every one of us so much.

Nate- 3 months

2011-11-26T15:51:00.001-08:00

I seriously can't believe how fast time flies...and the fact that my only post was last month! Things get a little crazy when Momma is working and being a mommy. Blogs just don't get time anymore, but I wanted to make sure I made the effort to blog on Nate's 3 month birthday! So here goes...

At 3 months:
*Nate is "usually" sleeping through the night. Both boys have been sick with colds and having to do breathing treatments, but before then and today (starting to feel better), Nate sleeps until 7.
*Wearing 3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes. Size 2 diapers & size 2-3 shoes (big foot like his daddy!)
*Still mellow, but you prefer sitting up to see everyone
*Such a smiley, happy baby
*LOVES his brother so much and smiles at him constantly
*Still doesn't care for tummy time but enjoys sitting up in the Bumbo seat
*Trying to roll over but not even close yet!
*"Talking" & squeeling so much!

At 27 months Sam is:
* Talking in complete sentences (sometimes referring to himself as I or in third person: "I would like apple juice" or "Sambo fall down"...either way so cute)
* Appetite is almost non existent these days
* Loves to do anything with his hands...play with trucks, airplanes, blocks, puzzles, and the newest fascination is with tools.
*Wearing 2T (now they're all too big again)
* Potty training is slow, but we're planning on hitting that hard over Christmas break (hopefully)
* Knows all his shapes, learning his letters, counts up to 20 (though he gets them mixed up after 13), and still working on colors. :)
*Is in a fun, imagination stage...loves to pretend he's a dinosaur stomping around the house!

I could not imagine such a fun life with these two boys if I tried. I'm so extremely blessed, and even on the toughest of days, I know that I have more than a lot of people. Who knew that two little boys could steal this Momma's heart so quickly????

Nate- 2 months

2011-10-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

Holy cow...I can't believe Nate is already 2 months old! I've started back at work this week so life has been super crazy! No pictures yet bc I'm still trying to get that sweet smile on camera! He's so quick with his smiles...Here's the lowdown on what's going on with that boy this month:

~ Eating every 4 hours
~ Wearing size 2 diapers
~ Wearing 0-3 months clothes, some 3 months, and size 2 shoes!
~ ALMOST sleeping through the night...he usually wakes up once at an odd time (like 2) then up in the morning, but right back to sleep...(thank you Lord)
~ Pretty mellow except when his tummy aches
~ Happiest in the morning (that's when we usually catch his little coos and giggles)
~ LOVES the changing pad. He can be going totally crazy with a meltdown and calm down completely when we lay him on there. Crazy I know.
~ Starting to reach and grab at hanging things.
~ Still falling asleep during tummy time. :) Must be comfy.

Sam is totally loving his baby brother. Every night we go through thanking God for our family during our night time prayers. We thank God for daddy and momma and he always says "Nate!" and I always say "And Sambo!" He's also totally loving preschool. He's learning so much and talking so much too! We're working on potty training (which I hate) and working through temper tantrums and what you CAN NOT do when you're mad (I also hate), but I use the same talk with Sam as I do with some of my fourth graders! LOL

I'll post more pictures when I can...right now life is a crazy mess. Laundry is piled up. I haven't worked out. And I've got lesson plans to write. Ah! Hopefully I won't let my exhaustion get the best of me.

My mall revelation...

2011-10-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

Today, Nate and I went for my 6 week checkup...can you believe it's already been 6 weeks??? I know..crazy, right? After my appointment, we ran to the mall to take back a shirt that Jared had bought for Sam (Texans of course). Below is the thought process that I encountered while I pushed a stroller/ate in complete silence in the food court:

1. Wet Seal? Is that store still open? I don't think that store will ever be in my "body type" anymore. Is that a mom pushing her stroller in there? Dang it...I'm jealous she can still shop there. Will I ever be able to wear non stretchy clothes again? Do I want to? No...not really.

2. What are all of these kids doing out of school? Is this normally what the mall looks like on a weekday? Good grief....someone should talk to their mommas.

3. I wonder if The Children's Place is having a sale? Sam really needs some winter clothes... and a winter coat for when it eventually gets cold...and some nicer shirts to wear to church. Is this what it's like being a parent? Never shopping for yourself? Well if it is...that's okay. I'm in sweat pants most of the time anyways.

4. Victoria's Secret....you girls make me sick! Even though you have your little flat tummies, I have stretch marks and two beautiful boys to show for it...so stick it! Was that unchristian of me? Probably so...but there has to be a positive outlook on my body that has not returned to normal yet. It happened so fast with Sam. Why is it taking forever to return to normal this time??? Ug..so annoying.

5. Am I officially a grown up? This feels pretty grown up. I'm not enjoying the stores, the amounts of people, oh but did I mention how I enjoyed eating by myself? Well not technically by myself. I ate with Nate. But he was a silent partner. And it was bliss.

Yeah...I'm thinking I've entered into some new strange territory. It's called parenthood. It's weird. I'm not sure where I fit in...certainly in the clothing department. Hmm...just some random thoughts that revealed a lot more to me than probably you.

Things I love about the "terrible twos"

2011-10-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

In light of the "terrible twos" making the debut in our house...I've decided to focus on some things that I'm definitely loving about the stage that Sam is in right now. So...in no particular order, here are some things I just LOVE about our boy right now:

1. I love the way he sings songs like, "YES! Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me soap." or "That's Elmo's WOOOORRRRLLLLDDDDD!"

2. I love how Sam repeats EVERYTHING we say like, "Oh snap!" or "Big fat fail!" (guess who said that?!?) or "Where is it?"

3. I love how Sam is becoming a creature of habit...wait is that a good thing???? Yes it is. He knows every night that we read a bed time story and then a Bible story. However, he absolutely loves to read about "the giant". In fact, after we read a new Bible story he quickly flips through his Bible looking for the giant. :)

4. I love how Sam is so independent. At first, I was upset that I've already given him some negative traits like being independent or hard headed or obsessive. But I've since realized that his independence is teaching him a lot...and he's not afraid to ask for help after trying it on his own first (which makes me super proud).

5. I love to listen to Sam talk to himself about things that we've talked about. For example, the first time we did a puzzle together I would say "Is that where the cow goes? No! That's a pig!" Now, every time he does a puzzle by himself I hear him talking to himself the same way.

6. I love Sam's imagination. He really enjoys playing with trucks and blocks. Jared teaches him how to build things with his blocks and now he's always trying to build different things out of his blocks. He also likes to imagine his stuffed animals doing things, too...like Elmo and Cookie Monster sleeping.

7. I love how Sam is already a great big brother. He absolutely adores Nate. The first thing he does in the morning and the last thing he does at night (and all the time in between) is kiss and hug Nate. He loves to put the lid on the bottle and throw it in the sink for me. And he loves to let me know what Nate's up to. "Nate hungry" or "Nate talking" or "Nate sleeping". But my favorite is, "I kiss Nate" or "I hug Nate". SO STINKIN' SWEET.

So even though the terrible twos are here in full swing, there are lots of fun times in our house. It's so neat to see Sam learning and growing every day. I'm so incredibly thankful for both our boys and pray every day that they would learn to obey the Lord and love Him with all their hearts. What an amazing journey we are on...this parenting business. Crazy good, right?

A Change of Perspective

2011-10-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

1. I love my husband. He is insightful and encouraging and a wonderful provider for our family.

2. I've been in a funk lately. Since coming home from the hospital, the thought of going back to work has literally made me sick to my stomach. I can't even think about it without bursting into tears. This happened with Sam too, but I remember the closer it got to my return to work the more excited I got. Not so this go round folks. Not so. This week we sat down to really look at the option of me not going back to work...and it just can't work. We would be in the negative before we even accounted for gas and groceries. Upon hearing these cold hard facts, I again burst into tears. You see...this time I know how fast time goes. Sam is already in preschool and I love picking him up everyday. I love our little predictable routine with school, lunch, snacks, puzzles, etc. I love everything about my days...even the dirty diapers and throw up. And to think that I'm going to miss it all in just three short weeks is devastating.

But my wonderful husband helped me to put things into perspective last night. Instead of looking at it like I "have to" work, it's more like I'm helping support our family. We do a lot of fun things, and if I didn't work those things wouldn't be possible. I love having family pictures taken by an amazing photographer friend, we like taking mini-trips over spring break with the kiddos, I enjoy being able to buy birthday presents for friends, and even though I don't enjoy running out of propane (which happens every winter) or having to repair the lawn mower, those things happen and if I didn't work those things would have to be charged.

Something else Jared reminded me of was not just what my income helps to provide for our family but for others. We have a Compassion child that we support, we like to give to different ministries in and around the area, and when a need arises we like to be able to help when we can. Those things aren't possible if I didn't work.

So here's to a new perspective. I'm thankful for a wonderful husband who reminds me of the positive things that can come out of things that seem sad to me. I don't know if things will always be like this...I certainly feel God's calling for me to stay at home, but for now it's not in the cards. Hopefully it will be, but for now...I'm okay with it.

Nate- 1 month old update

2011-09-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already been a month since Nate came into this world! What a blessing he is to our family already. He's such an easy going baby and I pray that he would always stay my "little mellow fellow".

At one month Nate is:
~ Eating every four hours during the day
~Wearing size 1 diapers, size 0-3 months clothes (some newborn depending on the brand), and size 1 shoes
~ Starting to sleep longer during the night. Usually wakes up at 3:00 for a bottle then up again at 7:00.
~Starting to stay awake a little bit longer these days. Usually stays awake for an hour and a half after his breakfast bottle. Then awake for a long time in the evening.
~ Finding his hands to suck on and will occasionally take a paci.
~ Not caring for tummy time much, but holding his head up and looking around for short time periods.
~ Such a happy boy...only cries when he's hungry. Otherwise, he just looks around and watches what's going on.
~ Is already becoming a tough guy. Brother "loves" on him and is kinda rough at times but that doesn't bother him one bit.
~ Quite the "talker". Always making noises of some kind. Always happy ones, but just cooing or grunting. So cute!

You are God Alone

2011-09-17T13:16:00.000-07:00

This song has gotten me through a lot of hard times. Isn't it crazy how listening to something can bring so much comfort in our times of trouble? I remember listening to this song over and over in my car everyday on my way home from work during the time that my father-in-law was staying with us on hospice. I would cry and pray and ask God all the hard questions before I got home and faced what would be there. I remember getting pregnant just two months after he passed away, and questioning why we couldn't have gotten pregnant earlier so that Joe would've seen our baby and this song comforted me then. And when we had a surprise pregnancy and lost the baby...this song got me through then too. And just this week, this song got me through another hard time in my life...watching my Granny pass away. There are things that I will never understand...like death. I understand it has to happen (cue "Circle of Life" music) but I just don't understand the cruelty of it all. Why do people have to suffer? Why does my Paw Paw (who was married to my Granny for 58 years) have to feel such grief? Why can't we all just die when we're supposed to in our sleep the night before? No pain. No suffering. No putting your family through the sadness of watching you slowly slip away. When I hear this song though...it puts things into perspective for me. It reminds me that, even though I am no where even close to having all the answers, God knows what's best. He has my life, and all of His children, in the palm of His hands. There is nothing that can happen to me that God can't handle. Even though I can't handle it. Even though I want to be in control. Even though I want all the answers. God's got this. And in the difficult seasons of my life, I need reminding of this. Big.Time. Even in the little, daily stresses of life when the boys are crying at the same time, when there are temper tantrums, when there are bills, when I don't want to go back to work God's.got.it.all.figured.out. I just need to trust HIM. If you haven't heard this song, take a few minutes to sit and listen. I pray that it would refresh your soul like it does mine....every single time.

Momma's gone!

2011-09-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

My mom left today to go home. :( Now it's just me and Jared. I'm quite scared if I must confess. Jared keeps reminding me that we did this for a week before she got here, but he was home and I was pretty much incompetent. I couldn't sit up by myself and I could barely walk. Now Jared's gone back to work and I can get up by myself but the walking is still not back to normal. I'm ready to be able to do things like go walking, but it just is harder this go round. So the fact that I'll have two boys to watch by myself scares the living daylights out of me. Do people do this all the time? Yes. Do other people survive? Yes. But I'm still scared. Sam is pushing the limits BIG time. He does enjoy being the big brother helper and he LOVES Nate. He is always hugging and kissing him. But...he has his moments. I feel like I have to do the "1, 2, 3" business more times than I want to in a day. I feel like we're in this constant state of time outs. Although when my mom had to put him in timeout today I thought he was going to die! We're trying to potty train, too...which is not going so great either. I feel like there's just a lot of changing and adjusting still going on and I'm ready to feel "normal" (whatever that may be) again.

So here's to starting the week as a mommy of two boys...by herself. When you think of me or my husband or our sweet children...please say a prayer. I will survive, I know. But I'm just a little scared so far.

L-O-V-E

2011-09-06T17:41:00.001-07:00

Nathan Daniel Hollier- August 26, 2011 7:41 am

I John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us."

Confession Time. Before we had Nate I was really scared about one thing. What if I didn't have enough love to go around? That sounds silly, right? I mean, millions of people have more than one child and they don't seem to have trouble with loving each child enough, right? It's impossible to know exactly how you'll feel BEFORE you meet your little angel (boy or girl), but afterwards is when the amazing thing takes place. When you have one child it's overwhelming how much love fills you and just how quickly. I instantly fell in love with Sam and that love has only grown with time. It's been the three of us for so long...what if there wasn't enough love to go around? Would I have to split my love in half? So many questions I just didn't have the answers to...until I first laid eyes on Nate. Immediately, I fell in love all over again. And I didn't have less love for Sam. I just had the same overwhelming love for another little boy. That kind of love...overwhelming, consuming, make you weep, love only comes from the Lord. There is nothing in me that is good enough or holy enough to have that kind of love. What I have to offer only comes from the love I've first received from the Lord. On my own, I've got nothing. But because of the Lord's great love, I'm able to love. And that is amazing. God is so good to allow us to take part in such a wonderful experience. He doesn't have to let us experience all of this goodness...but He does. And for that, I'm truly overwhelmingly grateful.

~Elizabeth

It's the little things in life...

2011-09-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

I couldn't get these pictures in order, but please allow me to share in the sweetness of my two year old. One hormonal evening this week I was feeling down because I still wasn't feeling good. I'm just ready to be able to pick up Sam and cuddle with him instead of having him sit beside me. So...what does my sweet boy do during my pity party? He grabs the camera of course! Notice the progression of his smile after each picture...every time I go through these I can't help but laugh. He does get his cheesiness from his Momma, I must admit. :)

Photo #2...this is funny taking pictures and looking back at them!

Photo #1... just hanging out

Photo #3...I have birthed a cheese ball...but I love him so much!

Sam & Nate

2011-08-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Here's Sam getting to hold Nate for the first time. He was very interested, though a little distracted with Elmo on the TV.

Ramblings from a new mommy of 2

2011-08-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

WARNING: The days after giving birth are filled with a whirlwind of emotions combined with hormones and lack of sleep. So the ramblings below will only testify to the fact that I may seem a little crazy right now. Believe me....I know. I can't even speak to my husband without sobbing. My poor two year old just stares at me and says "hey momma!" in the biggest grin. That can cure any hormonal meltdown.

Let me say this...I "thought" I knew what it would be like bringing Nate home. Jared and I had talked for months now about how excited we were to meet Nate and to see him grow and play with Sam. We even told ourselves to expect him to be different from Sam...you know every kid is different from their sibling. They all have their own little personalities and we were so excited to find out what Nate's little personality was going to be like. That being said, let's rewind to two years ago almost to the day. We brought Sam home and just like in the hospital he woke to feed faithfully every 4 hours. Yes. I'm serious. Every 4 hours. For those of you who don't know...that's amazing. We were able to get 4 hour stretches of sleep. People told me to "sleep when the baby sleeps" and things like that but I honestly never did. I felt rested and thought to myself...I can do this. I loved loved loved being at home with him and it was the hardest thing to go back to school. That being said, let's fast forward two years to present day. We brought Nate home and he woke up every 2 hours to feed. Every 2 hours! Sometimes he could make it to 2 1/2 but most of the time it was a stretch to make it to 2. So needless to say, Jared and I were both exhausted out of our minds. I had been put on bed rest about a week and a half before so Jared had literally been doing everything around the house. While in the hospital, it was a harder recovery than with Sam. I felt like I had a heavier dose of the spinal epidural and it took me forever to regain feeling in my legs. It also meant that I had uncontrollable itching (which I had with Sam but not near as bad), which they in turn gave me medicine for, which in turn made me sleepy, which in turn made me feel like a zombie. The recovery process is still a long process. I'm still not able to sit up on my own, which makes for getting out of bed very difficult. I say all of this because everything this go round has been DIFFERENT. If you know me at all, you know one thing. I like stability. I like constant. I do not like CHANGE. I had thought I had prepared myself for another little baby. I thought I was ready. Boy, was I wrong. Nothing can prepare you for a baby. Whether it's one or more than one.

As I was sitting in the recliner yesterday morning, it hit me. There are literally millions of people who would give anything to feel what I'm feeling. Even though I'm overwhelmed and scared and nervous and all of those new mommy feelings all over again. I sat there and just prayed. Prayed over my boys that they would be blessed with a long life and that I would be blessed to be around for it all. I don't know if other people think this way, but I have the most awful fears of dying before I get to see my children grow up or even worse that they die before that time comes. I can't even begin to think about that without mentally and emotionally freaking out and falling on my knees in prayer. So even though things are different and it will take a while to get adjusted, I'm so thankful for the blessing that God has given us. Nate is such a sweet boy already. He's going to be tough because his big brother is already ready to wrestle with him. I pray more than anything, that he would love and serve the Lord and that he would live a life worthy of God's calling. Anything beyond that is just extra blessings from God.

So there you have it...some jumbled up thoughts going through my head. Please don't think that I'm complaining because I'm not. Blogging for me is an outlet. It's a tool that God uses to reveal things about myself and Himself. Putting things out there in cyber world and even just typing them helps me realize more about myself (good & bad) than most other things so please be understanding of that.

Hopefully the next post will be more coherent and clear. But for now...this is what we get.

~Elizabeth

Nathan Daniel Hollier

2011-08-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

Daddy & Nate getting some visiting in early Saturday morning.

Our sweet Nathan Daniel Hollier

A much more rested Momma getting some loving on her new baby boy!

Our newest little man came into the world on Friday, August 26, 2011 at 7:41 am weighing 9 lbs 8 oz and measuring 20 inches. We are so blessed to have another happy and healthy baby boy. Big brother Sam still doesn't know what to think just yet, but I feel like once we get home and get into the groove of things he'll start to get the hang of it all. He loves Nate, but is having a hard time being "easy" with him. I know he'll be a great big brother and that fun times are in store for our new growing family. Nate is doing great. He's eating every three hours and handling transitioning to his new world like a champ. Jared is also doing great. Bless his heart...he's exhausted just like me, but he's been amazing. Through bed rest and helping me recover through my second c-section, I couldn't be more thankful for him. He's such an amazing helper. I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was rough as far as pain goes, but today I'm feeling better. Medicine is working, my body is starting to heal, and I'm getting a decent amount of rest (which can cure a whole lot of everything). I can't promise how often I'll be blogging for a while...things tend to get a little crazy with a newborn, but I'll keep you guys posted when I can!

~The Holliers~
Family of Four

New beginnings

2011-08-25T13:32:00.001-07:00

Sam on his first day of preschool

It seems like here lately we've been going through a lot of "firsts" in our house. First day of preschool and tomorrow will be the first day of having "the boys" instead of "Sam". Jared and I were talking about this as we drove down to Beaumont today. I can't believe that tomorrow I'll be a mother of two boys! Just last week I turned 27 (30 is quickly approaching). Some days I feel like we're still in college dating, but alas we're in this grown up life of ours...you know: mortgage, jobs, kids, car notes, insanely high electric bills, blah blah blah. How did this happen? WHEN did this happen? It seems like I just blinked and I'm an adult. Some days I'll be honest, I hate it. I hate thinking about bills from month to month or job security or all that other grown up stuff. But most days, I wouldn't trade this stage of life that we're in for anything. I love being a mommy (granted it is one of the hardest things in this life). I love teaching him new things and also hearing the things he comes up with on his own...especially this new imagination stage he's in! I love sharing my life with Jared and it's crazy to think we've known each other for almost 10 years! We're just starting a lot of new stuff and it almost feels like a new chapter in the story of our lives (is that too cheesy to blog??? Oh well...) Either way, it's exciting all this new stuff. I can't wait to meet our newest little boy tomorrow, I can't wait to see Jared hold him, or to see Sam's brain wrap around this thing called Nate that we've been talking about for months. I'm just full of emotions right now. Ready for another new beginning.

So very blessed!

2011-08-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

So today I woke up and my wonderful husband made me a great birthday breakfast. Then later he's going to run all the errands that I was supposed to but now can't since being put on bed rest. I have to take this moment to brag on him (I don't do it near enough)...Jared has been doing EVERYTHING around our house these days! And I don't mean like doing the things that he thinks should be done (bc we all know the list of things that women/mothers think need to be done vs. men/daddies is quite different...nothing wrong with that. They're just different). I am a planner. I've had a list posted to the side of the fridge for two weeks now of things I've been checking off that needed to get done before Nate came. Now...I can check nothing off myself. So my wonderful husband has picked up where I left off. He's not obsessive or controlling or anything close to that like I am, but being the wonderful help mate that he is, he knows it's a big deal to me...that I will even lose sleep thinking about to do lists and creating sub to do lists in my head. So he has become the list checker offer for the time being. He knows that when we go to the doctor on Monday, it's going to be go time (or at least we have to be prepared for that since we live an hour and a half away from the doctor). I feel like thank you is just not enough....surely there is a phrase that is bigger and encompasses more than just "thank you". But alas I couldn't find any words or phrases better than that so this mere blog post will just have to suffice. Jared, you are an amazing husband and daddy. Sam & I (and soon to be Nate too) would be lost without you. Thank you for sacrificing for us. Thank you for putting yourself in my shoes and trying your best to see life through my eyes (that is no easy task I tell ya!). And thank you for loving us....because we love you so much!

Lessons learned on bed rest

2011-08-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well...I went back to work about a week and a half ago and I quickly could tell things weren't going so well. I was in a lot of pain and when I would get home I would be just about dead. Wednesday I went to the doctor for a check up with a lot of concern. The day before I was experiencing a lot of pain and couldn't walk. So what did I do? I wheeled myself around that day in a chair with wheels. Did I look ridiculous? Probably so, but at least I wasn't in any pain doing that. So Wednesday I was explaining all this to my doctor and since I'm 37 weeks the doctor put me on bed rest to help ensure me going a little further. We don't want Nate to come early and have to be in the NICU...so since Wednesday (and it's only Thursday!) I've been laying on the couch or bed. Here's something I've learned about myself in that short time...

This may come as a surprise to some of you but I'm a slight control freak. Yeah..like I said, this may surprise SOME of you, but not most. :) When you can't do much of anything for yourself, you have to rely on others. And for someone who wants to control everything I've had two choices to make. 1. Be that person who tries to control others or 2. Deal with the fact that others are trying to help and it's okay if it's not MY way. I've been working with #2....it hasn't been easy, but I've been so overwhelmed with all those who've stepped in to help us that I feel like the Lord is using this time of "rest" to teach me how to chill out. Chill out...something I don't do very well at all. But I'm learning...and for that I'm thankful.

Thankful Thursday

2011-07-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

With the baby countdown under way (5 weeks to go!) it's becoming more and more uncomfortable. So I'm reminding myself of all the things I'm thankful for! Join me in counting your blessings today...even amidst trials.

1. Two great friends who've been helping me get my room packed, moved, unpacked, and set up. Without them, I probably would have already had Nate that's for sure!

2. A GREAT night's sleep! No leg cramps, no potty breaks, no contractions. It felt awesome! Thank you Lord for granting me the rest I so desperately needed.

3. My baby "sprinkle" coming up this Saturday. Mexican pot luck, couples game night...what else could be more fun?!?!

4. Getting to see Jared for a little while on Tuesday. He's been at GA Camp all week as their camp pastor and I've been missing him like crazy! I went for a visit on Tuesday, but I still can't wait for him to come home tomorrow. Our house is just not the same without him.

5. Dinner with friends last night. Love that God has blessed us with such amazing friends. I also love that Nate was wide awake and moving for them to feel! :)

I challenge you to think about and let others know what you're thankful for. It's really easy to get in a funk or to go through difficult times and not be able to see God's blessings all around. STOP and THINK right now of one thing to be thankful for today and share that blessing with someone. You never know....your perspective might be the only God-glorifying thing someone hears/sees today.

~Elizabeth

Nate update/random ramblings

2011-07-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest questions I get about being pregnant (after the whole...go through the heat of the summer business) is "Is Sam ready to be a big brother?". And I always respond the same way..."He doesn't know what's about to hit him!" It's true. He has no clue what Nate means. He knows that Nate is in Momma's tummy, but he also thinks that Nate is in his tummy, and Daddy's tummy, and a lady from our church's tummy too! It's been really sweet here lately because my belly is getting SOOOO big and at random times Sam will come up and give Nate a gentle kiss or he'll say "tickle tickle tickle" and tickle my belly. He's just now starting to realize how to be easy and gentle and it just melts my heart. In my head I wonder...what does he really understand? There's no way he could possibly fathom a baby growing in my belly. But I wonder, what is he going to think when he meets Nate for the first time? He is going to think to himself..."THIS is Nate???? Boy did I have it all wrong!" Haha. I kid around, but at the same time I'm serious. We've got seven weeks left to get into gear as I've been telling myself and it just doesn't seem real. Summer is completely flying by and before you know it, the school year will start back up again. Ugh. Not ready for that, but I know with a new year comes a new baby! I'm so ready. I can't even begin to explain how ready I am. I just wonder if Sam is too.

Goals for the Week:

2011-07-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping that by posting my goals for the week that it will increase my chances of them actually being accomplished so here goes:

1. Clean out spare bedroom closet/get Sam moved into new room. We've really been talking it up with him and we got the new mattress delivered today. Every time he walks by it he says "big bed". Fingers crossed he loves his new room/bed.

2. Get a pedicure. :) I've had a gift certificate since two weeks before my last day of school from one of my students and I have yet to use it. Jared's day off is on Thursday and EVERY Thursday since we've been out for summer we've had doctor's appointments or something. I'm looking forward to some mommy time ALONE. :) Can you tell I'm excited????

3. Practice making Sam's birthday cake...again. I made a trial run cake on July 4th and while it tasted GREAT, it looked awful. I'm attempting to make a baseball cake and it keeps sticking to the pan. I put plenty of shortening inside but no such luck. Any ideas or suggestions would be most appreciated.

4. Print out Sam's bday invitations. My amazing husband created invitations based on what I saw a lady selling them on etsy design. I told him how she could make them for us and he said "oh I can do that". And what do ya know??? He did! He's very creative when it comes to computer stuff...and that saved us a lot of cash too so we're both happy. :)

Well....happy goal meeting! Good luck with your goals for the week! Hopefully both of ours will get done

It's been a while...

2011-07-04T06:13:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I blogged last, but for good reason! Sam and I have been quite busy with each other lately. Lake days? No. Shopping? No. Just hanging out around the house and trying to stay cool that's all. He's kinda thrown his Momma & Daddy a curve ball since transitioning into a toddler bed. No more sleeping until 8 am anymore. He wakes up at least once a night and his new wake up time is anywhere from 6-7 am....sometimes earlier. So needless to say this summer dream of sleeping late has faded fast. But tomorrow we get his big mattress delivered and I think that should help his sleep habits more. He did great sleeping at my dad's house on their full size mattress so I'm hoping that this transition will help. We'll also been getting him new bedding and redoing his room (everything but paint thankfully). I can't wait to get it all fixed up and then move on to Nate's nursery. Crazy how everything is happening so fast! I'm ready though....We went this past week for Sam's ear checkup and for my regular checkup and 3d ultrasound. What a day that was! Sam's hearing is now ABOVE normal (praise the Lord!) and baby Nate is weighing in at 3 lbs. 12 oz so far! I started having some contractions this past week and have been pretty miserable since. It's getting harder for me to sleep or should I say fall asleep and stay asleep. My legs are cramping up a lot this go round, which didn't happen with Sam at all, and I wake up listening for Sam to be up and about. So overall...sleep isn't great with me right now. We put a safety lock on the door so Sam couldn't get out of his room at night, but the little stinker has already figured it out. He does pretty good most of the time about not getting out of bed. When he wakes up in the mornings he'll either come in our room (and we put him back in bed) or he'll knock on his door until someone comes to get him. Either way, whenever he leaves his room he ALWAYS shuts the door behind him! Jared and I were laughing about that yesterday bc we don't really know where he picked that up from except that we close doors to keep him out of our room I guess. He's growing up so fast and becoming so silly everyday. In fact, a friend from church has taught him to refer to himself as Silly Sam. I think the title fits him to a t. I think that's about it for us....we've just been relaxing at home. I've gone up to the school a couple of times and gotten most of the stuff moved out of my classroom and into my new one, but I can't work anymore this week bc the school is closed. After that I hope to get my room set up and work on writing some mini lessons to teach writing in fourth grade (I had already done 1-3rd 6 wks for third grade before they told me I was moving grades). I'm getting more okay with teaching a new grade, however the anxiety of teaching two tested subjects is a little bit scary for me....especially since it's a new test that I don't know much about. I know that it's going to be a different kind of year for me taking eight weeks off for maternity leave then coming back full swing, but I'm excited at the chance to do something new and different. Teaching never gets boring that's for sure!

Anyway, I hope all of you are enjoying your summer...whether you have it off of work or just a little vacation time!

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T04:21:00.000-07:00

I have to say that when it comes to great men in my life....I've got a few of them! Where would I be without the support and loving guidance of them? I hope that my life represents at least a portion of what they've done for me.

1. My Heavenly Father....Constantly present and ever loving and faithful. No frustrations with me, just loving guidance and understanding. Lord, may I possess this trait for all to be drawn to You.

2. My earthly father....Time. Taking the time to teach and explain. Never rushed to elaborate on the workings of anything. You name it...the economy, trains, hunting, whatever. Lord, may I be patient with others and always see teachable moments in everyday life.

3. My extended father(s).... Love. Loving someone who wasn't necessarily your "own". Lord, may I always see others through Your eyes. Help me to love others with Your heavenly love that is eternal and unconditional NOT through the world's eyes.

4. My husband.... JOY. Always reminding me to stop and "smell the roses", have fun, and "don't sweat the small stuff". Lord, help me to keep my eyes focused on You and the task that You would have for me on this earth. Help me to see the joy in everyday moments.

5. My son(s)...Lord, one day they will grow up. They'll make their own choices and I pray that we will have raised them up with the knowledge of You so that they can one day be faithful fathers of their own children. I pray that You would guard their hearts in this world. Keep them pure. Let them both see from Jared & I an example of how to love and serve You in a dying world. Keep their minds pure and holy. Help them to focus on You and not the things of this world that can seem so alluring and attractive. I pray that they would never be tempted by the temporary trappings of this world, but that they would always be focused on Your business. Help our home to be one of love and acceptance modeled straight from Your heart.

So many great and influential people in my life have come and gone, making permanent imprints on my heart. I firmly believe that God places people in your life, some for a season and some for a lifetime, to change those around them. I am one of those people who has been changed by wonderful men around me.

Thank the men around you who have influenced your life for the better....father or not.

Mommy issues...

2011-06-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well Summer is officially here! Swim lessons are over, Sam is in his new bed, and I'm in the process of packing up my classroom to move it to the fourth grade hall. *Beware: The following is a mommy blog in which I will seek advice from fellow mommies. If you have no desire to read, then please check back with me later in the week. *

Things have been a little crazy lately. You see...Sam loves his naps. And his Momma certainly loves his naps, too. For the past two weeks, it's been the same thing (in the same new bed). Swim lessons from 9:30-10:00, get home around 10:15, snack at 10:30, nap to follow. Sam is/WAS still taking two naps a day...one in the morning and one in the afternoon. That didn't bother me because anytime we would try and take one out, he turned into another person's child that I would not claim. So we just thought he was like his momma...he needed his sleep. :) Well...since swimming lessons have started he's been napping at 10:30 until about 1:30 with no afternoon nap. No biggie right??? Well, about 6:00 he turns into this crazy kid who only cries and pitches fits. Last night, Jared & I had both had enough so we put him to bed. Even if he didn't sleep, he was in the "time out". Bad parenting? I don't really know or care because at this rate I've been with him all day throwing fits (which he only blesses his parents with, mind you) and I'm about to lose it. Now instead of him sleeping until 7:30, he's up at 6:00 and this morning (SATURDAY of all days) he was up at 4:45!!!! Yes, you heard me right! My little angel baby who loved his sleep has turned into this wild and crazy monster toddler. I can't seem to figure it out, and that's what bothers me the most.
1. How do we get back to a regular sleep pattern with just one nap a day (which is apparently where we're at these days)?
2. What do your kids do when they wake up before you? Sam's door is closed because he figured out early how to open it and run and scream in Momma's ear (talk about starting the day off on the wrong foot). Now when he wakes up, he sits beside his door and knocks on it until someone opens it. First, I wanted him to just play in his room, but during naps it's nice that he knows he has to stay in his bed. Oh....this is new territory for us, friends.
3. This is a whole seperate issue altogether, but my angel baby now turned toddler throws fits. Yep....not cool. He grunts when he's mad. We've tried EVERYTHING! We've tried time-out, spanking, ignoring, anything we could think of. What has worked for you? I've heard that ignoring is the best thing, and at home we could do that, but in public? I do not want to have "that" kid. And I refuse to not go in public until my child is at age 5. He needs to learn ways to behave and not to behave, right?
4. Someone who's raised boys: are they always this wild or is it just the age? Sam literally wakes up spinning in circles. From the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed, it is NON STOP. We're not the caffeine family either. No sodas, chocolates, sweets, etc. We stick to the main food groups and IF he gets a juice it is watered down and only half of a juice box at that. I'm praying that Baby Nate will be the mellow one of the bunch, otherwise...there is no chance of us trying for a girl. Sorry folks.

Anyway, all this is whirling around in my head. Combined with other moms who seem to have perfect angel toddlers and who make me feel guilty when I say I have a monster toddler. Don't get me wrong...I love Sam. He is such a great, smart, funny kid. BUT...he knows how to push the limits. And that is what Dr. Dobson says is "shaping his will" vs. "crushing his spirit". I never want to crush Sam's funny and creative spirit, but I do want to change his independent, I'm going to do what I want to do, will. And there in lies the questions tumbling through my brain at this moment. I'm loving being at home, but being nearly nine months pregnant and dealing with these things on a daily basis is taking it's toil on me. Am I alone? Is there any other mommy going through these same things? Has anyone made it to the other side? HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP! (By the way...in the time it took me to write all of this, I had to get up three times to correct my child for kicking/hitting the wall while he was supposed to be taking a nap since he got up at 4:45 this morning!) Ahhhhh!

Needing mommy help,
~Elizabeth

Summer Plans...Re-Write

2011-06-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things don't always go as planned. Isn't that the understatement of the century?!?! I had high hopes for a relaxing summer. I wanted to get Sam moved into a new room/bed. Get Nathan's nursery ready and that.was.it. Well...here is my updated summer plans list.

First and foremost....move classrooms. Yep...that's right. I was told on the last day of school that I was being moved to teach fourth grade. I was completely shocked. Rumors went around that morning that I would be moving but fourth grade was NEVER a thought in my mind. So, next week I will start boxing up my classroom and moving it down the hall to fourth grade and setting up a new classroom. After that, I will go over curriculum. Blurg. Not what I even wanted to think about this summer. But I know after that's done, I'll be able to relax a little. A little. :) Since I'll be moving classrooms at 8-9 months pregnant, we decided to keep Sam's room where it is and move the nursery to the guest room. 1. I'm too tired to even think about moving now. 2. I think it would be a little too much for him moving rooms and transitioning to a big boy bed. Regardless...lots of packing/unpacking/painting/things I hate the most. I know it will all work out and when I start to feel stressed about school I have to remind myself that at least I have a job. Quite your griping! :)

We were also "supposed" to start swimming lessons tomorrow. We're still going to go tomorrow, but afterwards we have an appointment with the ear, nose, & throat doctor in the morning. Our pediatrician wants Sam to get tubes in his ears so I don't know if the ENT doctor will let Sam continue with swim lessons for the next two weeks or if he'll let him finish and then schedule the tubes. Another boo. I know that regardless of swim lessons, we are going to have a fun summer. I'm bound and determined NOT to let any of the stuff that needs to get done ruin the fun we've got planned. I'm not sure as to the plans yet, but fun WILL be had. :)

So....here's to plans changing. New starts. Restful (hopefully) summers.

Summer Reading

2011-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Confession time....I'm a reading teacher, but most nights I don't read. Ahhhh!!!! I know I should, but during the school year I'm absolutely exhausted! Most, if not all, of my reading is done in the summer. Right now I feel like I'm into five different books at one time. Oh wait. I am. :) Here are some of the books I'm reading/wanting to read right now. Some are related to teaching, parenting, and just for me growth. That's the usual category I stick to. Would I like to read fiction? Sure, but this is just where I tend to lead. So here goes...

1. Teaching books:
What I'm reading now... 6 +1 Writing Traits by Ruth Culham. I'm in the process of writing mini lessons for our third grade teachers to use to help bridge the gap from third grade to fourth grade where they will have to take a writing STAAR test. I love writing and even teaching it, but the struggle comes when there's just not enough time in the day. Alas...isn't that every teacher's problem???
What I want to read... Working with students: Discipline Strategies for the Classroom by: Ruby Payne. Ruby Payne has worked and done countless studies on students and families in poverty. She has a lot of practical ideas on how to implement strategies that will work for the children that I most come in contact with. I love going to workshops that teach classroom management, but most often they are unaware of the issues that we face in our particular area.

2. Parenting books:
What I'm reading now... The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. Let me first say...after reading the first chapter I realized that Sam is NOT a strong willed child. We're just in the "terrible twos" stage, BUT what Dr. Dobson has to say is good advice for ANY type personality. Sam is more compliant at times, but like I said...right now we're in this Mr. Independant phase where we're trying Momma & Daddy. I'm learning daily that if I stay calm, he stays calm. MOST of the time this works....MOST emphasized.
What I want to read... Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel and Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. I'm always looking for new ways to discipline since I sometimes feel like Sam's thrown me a curve ball. And I heard it was really good. I also have no clue about boys since most of my cousins were girls. This boy business is new territory for this gal. :)

3. Just For Me books:
What I'm reading now... So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. This book has taken me forever to finish! Partly because the chapters are so long and I can barely keep my eyes open when I read it. The content however is wonderful and I'm really getting a lot out of it.
In Her Shoes Bible Study. This particular Bible Study is written by several different women and it's for minister's wives. It's all about finding where you fit into ministry as a person, NOT as a minister's wife. I would certainly recommend this Bible Study for all my friends who are married to ministers of any kind. Great study.
What I want to read.... I'd like to take a break from the "self help" books and read some chapter books that my kids have recommended this year. Chronicles of Narnia, Boxcar Children, A to Z Mysteries, etc. I think it's important for me to get excited about what they're reading and even enjoy some fiction. I'm hoping to start small and work my way to more "grown up" fiction reads.

If you know me at all...you know this list is pretty impressive. I'm not a big reader, but as my husband always says "Readers are Leaders". Gotta love him. :) What about you? What books are you into right now????

Feeling Burnt Out

2011-05-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

These last two weeks of school have been spent going to workshops the first half of the day and teaching the second half of the day. Now one would think that sounds like a fabulous day, but let me tell you first what my workshops have been over. Last week, I attended a workshop presented by the Jasper Police Department, Narcotics Department, and Juvenile Department. In this training, we were educated on the new drugs in Jasper and surrounding counties, what they look like and what their nicknames are called. Then, we learned about the gangs, gang signs, and common everyday symbols that are used to represent what gang you belong to (in Jasper!). We also learned about how gang members are recruiting students in the elementary grades to do their bidding. That was all in the morning...talk about an awful way to start off my day! The whole time I just kept praying. Praying for my boys, who inevitably no matter where we live, face these things that I never had to deal with. Sure there were drugs at my school, but I knew who the "druggies" were and I just stayed away from them. I had my own group of friends that hung out and I didn't have the desire to try anything crazy like that. I'm thankful that I had others praying for me to be a leader and not a follower. I don't look back on my high school years and see myself as a leader, but I do look back and see myself as marching to the beat of a different drum. :) I didn't care what others thought of me by that point...middle school yeah, but by high school I was comfortable with who I was for the most part.

Today's workshop was all about poverty. I really enjoy any kind of poverty training that I can get because it's something you see a lot of in the educational system. We looked at the differences between priorities of poverty, middle class, and wealthy class and what each class views as important. It's astounding looking at some of the differences. I know that I will never scale up to the wealthy class of society (nor do I want to) but the challenge comes when standards that are held by middle class are not standards held by students or families who are in poverty. And there in lies the struggle for teachers and educators all around the country. How do you bridge the gap? How do you teach someone who comes from generational poverty that it doesn't have to be this way? It can be different. You can make the choice to change. How do you inspire someone whose whole life is built around the system that you're trying to buck?

Those are the thoughts running through my head. It's so heart breaking to see children who have no drive. They don't want better because they don't even know anything better exists. How do I show them that there is something more out of life? And still teach the millions of things that are going to be on our new "rigorous" STAAR test? It seems like a daunting task to me right now. I know I only feel this way because I'm tired and burnt out. Usually the first two weeks of summer I don't do anything. No house work. No school work. NOTHING. Jared understands this. I'm praying Sam will also understand this. People who don't work in education don't. The fact that we get summer vacation is a luxury to them. They don't understand that in order to be effective, you have to have it. Otherwise, you just get emptied. You give so much of yourself that eventually, you've got nothing left. That's what I feel like right now....I've got nothing left to give. I'm sure after my two week sabbatical I will begin to have ideas, inspirations, and drive. But for now...I got nothing.

I'm just a little overwhelmed with all the sadness I see around my community. I don't know where I fit into it all or how I can help change it. I do know that I have a window into lives that I would never have before because I'm a teacher. The students that break my heart don't darken the doors of my church. I don't see them at the public library or at the park. I only see them at school. Nine months out of the year, they see me more than their own parents most of the time. How in the world am I going to impact them and inspire them to make choices that will change their lives forever? ESPECIALLY when looking into the future is hard enough as it is for a third grader.

Thoughts? Comments? If you're a teacher, I know you've felt this way at one point or another. How do you inspire change in your lowest students?

School's out....well almost.

2011-05-19T09:32:00.001-07:00

Wow...can you tell it's been crazy??? I haven't blogged in awhile. Chalk it up to the end of the school year festivities. So much has been going on and will continue to go on until about the second week of June. Then...let the summer begin! This past week, Jared and I were blessed to have him preach a revival to a sweet church in Newton. What sweet folks there were out there, and such a time of revival for them and me too. God blessed our little family just as much as He did their little church family I think. It never ceases to amaze me at how good our God is. He, once again, provided for our family through the gift that the church gave to Jared for preaching. God is so good to consider us worthy to do His work. And what a joy it is to meet others who love to do the work too! This week has also been the last week of school for most of my kids. My homeroom "flexed" so they get out of school tomorrow, but I will go to school for two more weeks. Two more weeks...I keep reminding myself that every morning when my alarm goes off. After that Sam starts swimming lessons (without me!) for two weeks. Then finally....summer will be here. No place to be. No plans. Just us...and probably the lake. :) I'm looking forward to summer. Here are some of our plans:

1. Get Sam moved into his big boy bed/new room.
2. SELL OUR HOUSE (I'm praying it happens before school gets out...crunch time for me, but certainly not for my God).
3. Get Nate's nursery ready.
4. Jared & I are planning some sort of get away before Nate comes...just the two of us to relax!
5. LOTS of lake days. I love the lake....so does Sam. I'm glad bc when you're pregnant in the summer, the only thing refreshing is water. LOTS of water.

What about you? What are some of your fun summer plans?

Random Thoughts on Motherhood

2011-05-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

I posted this picture because every time I look at it, it makes me giggle. Jared did this one night while I was gone somewhere and showed it to me when I got home. He said Sam kept saying, "baby?" Sometimes, I need to look at pictures like this to remind myself to laugh along this ride called motherhood. Right now, as we speak, I. Look. Pitiful. I'm not just saying that, it's actually true. Sam's been sick with every kind of weirdness under the sun and on Wednesday I came down with what I thought was strep, but ended up being some kind of sinus ear drainage issue. My voice was completely gone by the end of the day Wednesday so I took off Thursday. I had planned on taking Thursday off anyway to stay home with Sam, then I got sick too. Thursday my voice was worse than Wednesday so I took Friday off, too. Good grief...we've got to get our family better. However, I think we're all antibiotic-ed up so we should be getting better. Anyway, as I'm typing this, I look down at my pitiful looking self. On my shirt (that I just put on this morning) is a collection of what appears to be snot, drool, peanut butter, something white which I can't account for, and other random food particles from my child. My hair has not been out of a pony tail in I can't tell you how long, and shaving my legs??? Geez...when was the last time that happened? In our sickness and funk, I have to remind myself that this journey is a privilege. Not everyone can experience motherhood, and just this week I've been reminded of how much of a blessing it is to be a mother. Are things perfect all the time? No. Am I super mom? Nowhere close to it. Is it easy? Crap No! It's the hardest job ever. (I always heard people say that, but it's totally true.) Do I get tired? Um...yes. In fact a sick child + a sick Momma = TOTAL EXHAUSTION! BUT...I wouldn't trade it for anything. There are little things throughout the day that Sam does that makes me laugh, and I know it's God's little way of saying "Elizabeth, chill out and enjoy the journey." Like when Sam falls down, we're teaching him that it's okay. But do you know what he says? "Woah!" It's the funniest thing! Or how Sam will be going on and on in these sentences that you have no clue what he's saying so you're just shaking your head and agreeing, then he says "I uv u!" Nothing beats that feeling in the world. These are things that may seem little to outsiders, but to this Momma it's a big deal. Those are the things I have to choose to focus on. Not the fact that I've been wearing the same black sweat pants for more than two days now, or that I tore my last contact lens and am forced to wear my old crooked glasses. Those things won't matter to Sam. In fact, Jared was asking me what my favorite present was from my mom and I couldn't remember any gifts I had gotten, sorry Mom. You see, those aren't the memories I have of my childhood. I remember always getting a cookie cake on my bday...which was my favorite, but other than that I don't remember things. I remember moments, memories, lessons. That's what it's all about. Not stuff, but moments in time.

Sick Kids

2011-05-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

I thought when Sam had his two ear infections and was vomiting and running a high fever that that was the worst. It was so sad to see his little personality hidden behind a fever and pain. Well...I was wrong. The worst is when they STILL have two ear infections, combined with awful hand foot mouth rashes all over their bodies, AND a bacterial eye infection. What gets even better is that I've been at school all day with a sore throat and voice that has completely gone away and painful ears. GREAT. Just great. Having a sick kid...who seems to be catching everything under the sun is one of the saddest things to me. Not only is it sad, but it's exhausting. Last night I sanitized all of Sam's toys, books, etc. and washed all his clothes. I didn't realize how much junk we've inherited over the last 20 months. Geez! We clean out every Christmas and Spring, but holy moly! Momma cleaned out again and got the trash bags ready!

Please just pray for my little man. He's down and I'm down. And apparently in the short 20 months that I've been a Momma, I've learned that Momma's aren't allowed to be down! It doesn't matter how sick I am, Sam still wants his Momma....which is sweet and touching, but tiring as well. So we would appreciate our family to be covered in some prayers. Jared's going out of town next week to Catalyst and that following weekend is our anniversary. I sure would love for us all to be well so that we can do something fun. I'd appreciate all the prayers.

On a side note, we heard from our realtor who has a couple wanting to look at the house. Hopefully this couple is actually going to come this time bc I'm READY for a deal!!!

Favorite Memories

2011-05-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

I try to teach writing and inspire students to enjoy writing...in whatever forms that may be. Poems, journaling, stories, etc. Does that mean I always get every kid to love writing??? Unfortunately, no it does not. This week's writing prompt was to write about their favorite 3rd grade memory. Some of the things mentioned were parties, going to plays, skating rinks, etc. BUT...the one that stuck at the most to me was the most heart breaking to me. You see I try to teach my students with things that happen to me in real life, so that 1. they see me as a person 2. get a glimpse into a life that they might not have otherwise 3. realize that in real life reading is more than applicable. I was giving an example of how to NOT write a how to story. I explained that we had just bought a church cookbook and that I wanted to bake my favorite dessert....buttermilk pie. I explained how when following directions and giving directions you have to be very specific. I bragged about how I followed directions so well until the end. The recipe said to "cook until done". I went on and on about how I don't cook, and I had never baked a buttermilk pie before so I didn't know what "done" looked like. I went on and on about how I met a lady who was called the pie lady and she made the best buttermilk pies and how I just wanted to make a pie like hers. I went on and on about how I had to call my mom and ask how I'm supposed to know when it's done. My point was to show how writing a how to paper is important, and to be specific with your directions is important. That was it. Point done, right?

That was what one of my students wrote for her favorite 3rd grade memory. My buttermilk pie story. Really??? Of all the fun things we had done, that was her favorite. She went on to write about how she had gone home and told her mom about my buttermilk pie story and how she had wanted to try some. Her mom bought her a buttermilk pie and she loved it too. That was her favorite memory. I don't know if the end of the story is true, but the fact that she wrote about this being her favorite memory saddened me. I guess you never really know what kids are dealing with and what you say or do that they'll remember or what will matter to them the most.

God is Good!

2011-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

I found out on Thursday that I will have a teaching job next year. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY thankful but it was a hard day. Thursday I got good news, but six teachers at my school didn't get good news. They found out that they wouldn't have a job next year. So even though I was relieved, thankful, excited and all other emotions, I was also filled with sadness for some very sweet people who are now facing some tough decisions. Please continue to pray for them. While I rejoice every time I think about it, I also pray for them that God would give them wisdom, peace, and His provision. He can and will do that, I know.

Right now we're at home enjoying a relaxing Saturday because Sam has come down with hand foot mouth disease otherwise known as hoof and mouth. He started running a high fever on Thursday and broke out in a mild rash, but by Friday the fever was gone and the rash was out of control. My poor Sam was covered from head to toe in the awful rashes and bumps. I immediately wanted to take him to the doctor because 1. I'm an over protective worrier of a mom 2. Somebody's got to give him something, right? Well...apparently there's not a whole lot you can do but let it run it's awful course. We got up Saturday and Sam was back to his normal, crazy self. He's still got a rash but it's starting to get better. I didn't feel like crying when I saw him today so I think we're on the up and up. Monday we go back to our regular pedi for a checkup and to check on his ears from the double ear infection he had two weeks ago and now to check on this too. Boy...this kid is keeping us on our toes for sure!

Baby Nate is also growing right along. He's moving a lot more but usually at night when I lay in bed and in the mornings when I'm getting ready. During the day, he seems to be pretty mellow. Don't know exactly what all that means, but I'm curious to see if his temperament is already forming. I go for my next checkup on May 23 and can't wait to schedule our 3D ultrasound! I haven't had as many ultrasounds this go round and the more pictures the better! It's an amazing miracle God performs when He knits together a baby in a mother's womb. Quite breath taking when you sit back and think about it.

We were supposed to have a house showing on Thursday, but the couple was a no show. A little nerve wracking but I know that our house will sell in due time. I'm praying daily for it to sell before school gets out so that we'll have the summer to settle in before Nate gets here.

Well...I guess that's about it for now. We're rocking and rolling and gearing up for the summer! Can't wait to start swimming lessons, see my sweet nephew (and sister and BIL), and soak up the sun!

Update through pictures

2011-04-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Night time reading...usually done by Momma, but here lately he's "reading" on his own. It's the cutest thing to see!

Completely destroying his room....daily. Sam LOVES to play with his blocks and basketball...as you can see. This is a glimpse of his right before bed playtime.

I can't even describe how much this little guy means to me. He is so funny and is learning more everyday. At 20 months he is:

*speaking in sentences ("I fall", "Fix it", etc.)
* learning shapes (circle, star, heart, triangle)
* "working" on colors (everything is blue at the moment)
* counting (1,2, 5!!!!)
* learning that manners like please and thank you can go a long way
* climbing everywhere!!!! (like trampolines and chairs and tables...not cool)
* learning and loving sports (baseball, basketball, and his most recent golf)
* loves talking on the phone and even calls the phone "hello?"
* throwing fits when told no :(
* very passive towards others his age (will let others take his stuff and not snatch it back)
* prays: Jesus, thank you. Amen (before meals) and Jesus, I love you. Amen (before bed)
* loves reading his Bible and going to church
* points to Momma's belly and says "baby?" (also did that to Jared so we're still working on learning who can and can't have babies)

I can't imagine what my life would be like without this little man and can't imagine how crazy life is going to be with another little man coming soon.

Nathan Daniel is growing and doing great. He's not quite the mover and shaker that Sam was at this point, so I'm praying that he is going to be a more mellow boy than my crazy monkey now...though I wouldn't trade him for anything.

We're still trying to sell our house and have found a cute house in town that we would love to buy. I'm praying that our house would sell before the summer so that we could get everything settled in before school starts back and Baby Nate comes. Would you join me in this specific prayer request too? I know that God has taken care of us this far, and will continue to do so.

We still haven't heard anything else about my job so far. I'm not sure when we'll find out any information, but I know that all will be fine. That feeling of peace in and of itself is a huge answer to prayers. Knowing the type of person I am, and knowing that I'm not stressed right now is only evidence of the goodness of God. I think that about covers everything for now. Just wanted to share some fun pictures from our house on a regular night. Fun times in the Hollier's house!

Lessons Learned about God's Provision

2011-04-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

When I sit down and think about all the Lord has provided, just in this week alone, I am absolutely blown away. I don't know what the future holds for me, whether it be having a job next year or not, but I can say that the Lord is certainly teaching me to trust in Him for all things and that His plans completely outdo what I could ever dream up or imagine for myself or my family. Here's just a few things that God has provided this week: 1. Our tax guy called Jared and told him that he and his wife felt so bad about what's going on with the teachers in our area that they would mail off our tax stuff and we could pay them whenever we could. That doesn't happen everyday I imagine....for them or us. Wow. That was a HUGE blessing considering that I've already gotten $700 worth of medical bills from when I was in the emergency room arriving daily. 2. I talked with our benefits gal at school because I was concerned about losing my insurance before the baby was born. The c-section is scheduled for August 26 and they usually keep c-section babies/mommies for 4 days. That puts me leaving to come home on August 30. Guess when my insurance would end? August 31. Yep. Some people would say that's cutting it too close, but I know that's God continually reminding me that He's got this all in His hands. 3. We were given a truck. Did you just read right over that??? WE WERE GIVEN A TRUCK!!!! Jared's pastor growing up gave us their other truck! And I don't mean, here's a clunker you can drive around town. It's a nice truck that has a back seat (which has been a big deal for us since Jared has been driving his dad's truck which doesn't have a back seat). This verse came to my mind when I was telling a friend of mine all the things that God had done this week....and it's only Wednesday! Malachi 3: 10~ "Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." T hat is exactly how I feel right now...like God has opened the floodgates of heaven and He's pouring out his blessings and PROVISION on our little family right now. I don't know if that means that He's letting me know that He can take care of us if I don't have a job next year or if He's teaching me to remain faithful to Him that He will provide. Either way, I'm trusting that God has this all in His Hands. And to be quite honest...I'm learning more each day that there's no better place I'd rather be than in His capable, loving hands. ~Elizabeth

Lessons learned on Faith

2011-04-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

Since finding out about the possibility of not having a job and then receiving my letter about not getting a contract next year, the Lord has been doing a mighty work on my faith. Here are some of the things that He's been teaching me through this whole experience:

1. Your faith is only as strong as it is during the tough times. Does that make sense? I just got up from the computer and tried explaining this to Jared, and I even asked him to reword it so that it made sense to everyone. He said it made perfect sense so if it doesn't to you, take it up with him. :) What I mean by this is, I feel like for me, God has been teaching me that it's really easy to SAY you have faith when everything is going great. But what about when everything isn't? What about when you lose your job? What kind of faith do you really have if when the going gets tough, you bail out?

2. Faith is about losing or rather GIVING control. If you know me at all, then you know that I am a planner, most of the time I'm super organized with lists about the lists that I have, and I'm a little OCD about random stuff that only bugs the mess out of me. Now, in almost every area of life this works for me. I get stuff done, I'm an organized structured teacher who thrives on routines and consistencies, which most children thrive in as well. So it works...MOST of the time. However, in the area of faith being a control freak is definitely a hindrance. When you're a control freak you have to have a plan and you have to know what's going on...AT ALL TIMES! Faith is believing that someone else has a better plan than you're own (what?!?!) and that you have to trust that God's plans and control are better than yours. For me, the control part is the hardest. I have no doubt trusting in God's plans. I know my life in His Hands will be way better than anything I could ever orchestrate myself. But the releasing of control is hard. You see....I trust God and believe God, but I want Him to let me in on the plan. In my relationship with God in particular, God keeps me waiting. Now sometimes I like to think that God has a sense of humor in torturing me, but all jokes aside I know exactly why he keeps me in the dark most of the time. Because HE KNOWS ME. He created my inmost being. He knows exactly how I'm wired....He made me that way! So it comes as no surprise that keeping me in the dark is the Father's way of keeping my faith in constant exercise. Remember when you were in P.E. or athletics? I was in P.E. (of course) but we did these exercises in drill team as well. You had to lean against the wall and sit as if you were in a chair. Now for the first few seconds, you were good. Your beautiful thigh muscles were working for you. But before long, your thighs started shaking and you felt as if you were about to fall over. That's what I feel like right now. God is building my faith muscles and right now my muscles are shaking and I feel like I might fall over, but I know if I keep up these exercises that my faith will come out stronger. Wow....hard lesson to be learning these days.

3. Key verses that have been especially encouraging right now:
James 1: 2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." What that tells me is: 1. Don't try to get out of trials. 2. These trials are going to grow your faith and even though that's hard, the end result SHOULD BE a joy.

Matthew 6: 26-27 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" What that tells me: God loves you so much more than all of creation and He takes care of them. He'll take care of me. Stop worrying. We recite this verse a lot in our house, particularly after we write out all our bills for the month and we see what's left in our checkbook. :) We simply say "birds and flowers"...I should get a sign made that says that.

I wanted to write down all these things God's been teaching me for a couple of reasons. 1. It's really therapeutic. 2. I know that as time goes by, God will continue to show me why I'm going through this, and what HIS purpose is for it. 3. Maybe this could be an encouragement to you, for whatever trial you're going through.

~Elizabeth

Update from this morning's meeting

2011-04-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

This morning was the day....I along with 77 other teachers were invited to attend a meeting with our superintendent. Of course the rumors had been flying but thankfully I went to my principal a couple of days before to ask about this meeting. Had I heard all this news for the first time at 7 am there would be no way I could have taught 42 children today.

The meeting was grim, dark, depressing....insert any other adjective you can think of that is negative here. What it boils down to is that our state budget is being slashed and the biggest part of the state budget is schooling. What that means for my district is that we're being cut anywhere from 2.3 -2.8 million dollars. The biggest part of our school budget is personnel. So in order to make the biggest dent in the budget they have to lay off all probationary teachers. I was told that we are in survival mode and that it's just business at this point. Thankfully I'm not head of our school, because this business would sink. I kept looking around thinking about how each person there represented a family, a life that would be greatly affected by the future of this meeting. Some married couples were there together because they both were getting laid off....that made me feel even worse. So here's what lies ahead for me and 78 other teachers in Jasper: tomorrow we will all receive a letter from our principals saying that we are going to be terminated aka non-renewed for next year. From there we have two weeks to let our principals know if we are either going to find employment else where (good luck) or ask to be rehired if the funds become available. From there we will be presented to the board and our names will be in the newspaper as being non-renewed (boo). As funds become more available (hopefully by May) slowly people will be asked to be re-hired BUT not everyone will get their jobs back. So as of tomorrow, I will be jobless for next year and hopefully I will get a letter of intent which states that I will have a job for next year. Not a contract but just as good. The letters will come slowly and I don't know when or if I will get one. So that's all I know for now. Thank you so much for your prayers. I can't begin to tell you how at peace I've felt through all of this and I know it's because of those of you who are praying for me. Please continue to pray for all teachers, not just me, who will be affected. It's going to be a long journey.

God is good, and I know He's going to take care of us. What kind of faith would I have if I just gave up when the going got tough? Boy, that's a hard lesson to learn.

And Friends are Friends Forever...cue Michael W. Smith music

2011-03-31T12:02:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the JOY of getting to hang out with my roommate/best friend from college who is now a missionary in Africa. She had been there the last several months and we keep up via blogs and facebooks, but there's nothing like face to face conversations. Even phones can't put a price tag with being face to face. Sharing dinner and life. I can't even begin to explain how blessed I am to have met Sandra. We met whenever we found out we were going to be roomies our freshman year of college. I called her (and thought that Sandra was an old person's name...judgmental 18 year old? yes.) and we chatted about what we'd bring into our dorm rooms, but nothing too deep. Little did I know how much God was going to use her as my best friend for life. Sandra is one of the most godly servants I know. She is constantly looking for ways to serve. She stayed at our house on Monday while we were at work, and I thought to myself..."Good. It will be quiet. She can take a long shower. Watch t.v. Sit on the porch. " You know...things you don't get to enjoy while in the jungles of Africa. In Sandra's mind, she wanted to clean my house (which I quickly shot down) or make us dinner (which I accepted). Wow. If it were me, I would just want to relax. She's also one of those best friends that you rarely get to talk to, but when you do, it's like no time has passed at all. Those sweet friendships are few and far between. I'm so thankful for the time I had with her this weekend and for the impact she has on the Kingdom....both here in the states and in Africa. God, thank you for my sweet friend Sandra. She's such a gift from you. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better servant through her example. Amen.

Watch what you say...

2011-03-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

This being Friday, and my first full week back since posting all of my positive choices I was going to make after Spring break, I feel the need to give you a little update and a word of advice.

1. Watch what you say. :) When I talked about making choices about my attitude and the things I can control, I had no idea what the devil was going to throw at me this week. Here are just a few of the things....having rumors flying from many people about you resigning from your job (I felt a little like I was back in middle school dealing with rumors again...haha), getting a bulleted lengthy list of all the things you're doing wrong at your job, getting ready for MOCK TAKS. And that's just naming a few. This week I had plenty of opportunities to choose to either a. make the best of my job and be thankful I still have one or b. get angry, quit, and eat green beans in a tent.

So I chose a. And there's no way I could've done that without the help of a couple of pretty special people. One is my partner teacher, Becca. She's been teaching for longer than I've been alive, literally. You wouldn't know it by looking at her beautiful skin but she's been in the "biz" for a long time. I look to her for a lot of guidance. One of the things she always says is "All is well." Today she told me that "where two or more are gathered in His name, He's there". There are two of us, so we know that we can bring Christ into our classrooms. :) Just the encouragement I needed. My second special friend is Bridgette. She came up with the great idea that every month on the 25th (payday) we'd get together just the two of us for catch up, girl time. Boy am I ever looking forward to this! What a great friend she is, and I'm so excited for our monthly date. Yes, when you are full time mommy, wife, teacher, etc you don't always get weekly girls night outs so I'll settle for monthly ones. Two very special people who God has placed in my life for "such a time as this" to give me the encouragement I needed. So thankful for those two ladies. And those are just two of the many to name a few. :)

Back to Work....

2011-03-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is Monday. After 9 days of non school bliss, it's back to the daily grind. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I enjoy teaching and I really have a great group of kids. It's just the whole getting up early business....I HATE getting up early. I'm determined that after this most enjoyable spring break I'm going to make it a point to be more positive about the end of the year. If you're a teacher, you know how crazy the end of school gets. You're thrown with activities, TAKS, grading, parties, and everything in between. BUT...I can do this. This break was just what I needed to get my batteries recharged. I'm not saying that tomorrow is going to be awesome, because I know what I'm faced with. Papers that didn't get graded over spring break, they'll need to be recorded and put in folders, week at a glance needs to be typed and printed, and we start tutorials this week until 4:30 everyday. So I know that just because I'm feeling positive and re-energized doesn't mean that at 5:30 tomorrow morning the devil isn't going to start working on me, because he will. He will tempt me to hit the snooze, which will in turn make me run late for school, which will in turn make me not get things done like I need to, which will then in turn make me cranky and flustered when my kids walk through the door. INSTEAD I'm going to CHOOSE to praise God. CHOOSE to thank Him for the job I do have, whereas some are not as lucky right now. I'm going to CHOOSE that when someone starts griping I'll be the one to point out the positive in the situation or possibly tell them to shut it or go home. :) When I feel frustrated with my kids who still don't know the procedures that we've been practicing/using since August, I will CHOOSE to keep my cool. Tomorrow and for the rest of the year, I will CHOOSE to make it a good year. No one can determine my attitude but me. And I know that God has me there for a reason. I also know that there is NOTHING that God can't do. So when I feel frustrated or tired and ready to throw in the towel, I'm going to remember that God is with me. He's got this all under His control, and there is nothing that He can't do. If He CHOOSES not to, then I'll trust that. If He CHOOSES to do something that isn't what I would do, I'm going to trust Him. I just needed some time away to refocus. Don't you love getting that time to do that? Even if you're not a teacher and you don't get spring break....do you have times when you step away and God allows you some time of refreshment and enlightenment? It's good. God is good. Have a great Monday friends.

Highlights from Spring Break 2011!

2011-03-19T15:39:00.001-07:00

Sam and his Memaw enjoying the planes at the air show.

The absolute highlight of Sam's zoo trip was the aquarium. As soon as we got in there he kept hollering "fish, fish!" I think we have a good idea for a birthday present this year!

Sam and his sweet friend Raylee playing on the slides. She will be an excellent baby sitter in a few years. :)

Sam and Bradley cutting up on our way into the zoo. They sure do love each other bunches.

Sam and his friend Shyla at the park. They go to church together and will be in the same preschool class next year and they are just the sweetest. This picture makes me smile every time I see it. :)

I decided to post a couple of my favorite pictures from our spring break adventures since there were lots of pictures! I hate that they weren't in order but oh well! Spring break is coming to a close but I feel like I can make it just 9 more weeks! This was exactly what I needed...to get away and do fun things with the family. So fun! Next weekend we're going to the state fair and the next weekend is our nephew Bradley's birthday party. Before you know it Easter will be here! And you know what's after that...SUMMER! Bring it on! Happy Spring, everyone! Enjoy the beautiful weather. Spend time with family and loved ones OUTSIDE!

One of those days....

2011-03-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days where I felt like I could be a stay at home mom if it were possible. Sam and I had a fabulous day. We read every board book he has, sword fought, grocery shopped, laundry, and just had an all around great day. I even told Jared today that if every day were like this I would rock as a stay at home mom...but everyday is NOT like today. Take yesterday for example. We went to the zoo and had a blast. About an hour into the trip Sam got really fussy because he needed a nap and I was getting tired fast. Unfortunately, it wasn't up to us when we got to leave so we drug our cranky heels for several more hours until we finally hit the road. Once in the car Sam still had not had a nap and was cranky the entire 2 hours home. 2 HOURS people. One of us was going to get hurt if we didn't get out of the car soon. That being in my mind still on days like yesterday, I would go insane if I stayed at home with him. Thankfully, I get the best of both worlds. I'm thankful that I can provide for my family and get to stay home several times throughout the year. Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break, and yes the blissful summer break too. I may not get to be the homeroom mom bringing the cookies to the party, but I will be the crazy mom who stays up past her kids bedtime to bake the cookies that will get sent to school for the party. In a perfect world I could stay at home and make money/insurance but we all know this world isn't perfect. For now, I'll take my little slice of heaven aka SAHM (stay at home mom) for the time I'm given. You know why? Because today is Friday which means our spring break fun is quickly coming to an end. But in just a few more weeks summer will be here and we will be partying it up at the lake....can't wait!

P.S. Please don't read this post and reply with a rant about your opinions about working mothers or SAHM. I'm just simply writing about how great of a day today was and how I wish it could be like this all the time, but I am very aware of the difficulties when things aren't perfect. I applaud both groups of mothers and all in between.

Life with a little boy...and one more on the way!

2011-03-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

Getting the first of many "goose eggs". As you can tell it hasn't slowed him down ANY!

Chattin' with the ladies...

Sword fighting with Momma & Daddy

First four wheeler accident...no injuries this time thankfully.

Learning to "hut, hut, hut" as I call it.

Blowing up beach balls like Daddy does

Learning to be a ladies man.

Playing in the dirt

Going for a nightly soak in the tub

Lovin' on my #1 lady...my Momma!

We are so excited to have another little boy for Sam to play with and to add to all the excitement that Sam already brings to our lives! It's gonna get crazy around here!

Need a Break?

2011-03-09T11:50:00.000-08:00

I think I'm just needing a break. My students are driving me crazy and even some teachers are driving me crazy! Sam is definitely going through some trying times with us (to put it nicely) and I think more than anything we just need a break. Our family is planning on hitting up the Houston Zoo and Aquarium this spring break and maybe a little putt putt? We're dying to do anything fun. So I apologize for my lack of blogging lately. I'm just tired combined with Sam pushing the limits these days that by the end of the day...I'm...well...spent.

I'm curious...what are your family fun spring break plans?

BTW...we go to the doctor on Monday. IF we can't hear a heart beat again then we'll get an ultrasound...THE ultrasound. I'll keep you posted. :)

Things You Should NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

2011-02-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

1. I can tell you're having a girl...I can tell in your face. (First off, we don't even know if we're having a girl. Secondly, this is just your polite, which isn't even polite, way of saying my face has gotten fat).

2. Are you sure there's only one in there?

3. How far along are you? (added with a bewildered look on their face)

4. You're really starting to show (which means you're really packing on the pounds now!)

5. You shouldn't eat that (usually when I want to drink the pickle juice or something insane like that)

Now let me confess something....were any of these comments made from my dear family or friends that may be one thing. I would probably slap them in the face because my pregnancy hormones get me all "woman's rights, I'll kick you in the face like" BUT these are people who have no idea what my life is like or who I am as a person. Really. You want to talk to me about a deep subject like how I am carrying my child???? Do you want me to make you feel insecure about something so amazingly important as CARRYING A LIFE!!!!! I mean really. Come on.

Okay, I'm over it now. I just wanted to let those of you out there who say these awful things to people that your words have impact. SO....even though you make think my face has gotten way chubbier (I agree) or that I look like I'm going to deliver twins next month, please keep your opinions to yourself, okay? Thanks.

Valentine's Day Highlights

2011-02-16T13:37:00.001-08:00

Jared had this fantastic idea one day last week that he wanted to pass out Valentine's to all of our church members on Sunday during the Sunday School hour. In all honesty, I'm confessing my not so positive attitude at first. On Saturday, we signed 100 valentines and stuffed them with candy. Not exactly what I wanted to do, BUT the Lord quickly got my attitude in check. While I was signing valentines, Jared and Sam (together) were stuffing each valentine with a candy. Now, if you don't know my 19 month old you may think that's so sweet. But you fail to realize the teachable moment in this one afternoon. You see, my son loves to eat. I don't mean he's a good eater. I mean the kid wakes up in the morning saying "snack" and walks around the house all day saying "snack". HE.LOVES.FOOD. Now...for him to give these snacks away without eating them was a big deal. The even bigger deal came the next day. Sam walked around Sunday morning handing out those valentines to everyone he saw. He knew what he was giving away at this point and didn't budge not once. If he saw someone new walk in the door, he dug in his bag to give them a valentine. I couldn't help but be a proud Momma. Not because this was my idea, because it was my giving husband's idea, but because of the fact that at the young age of 19 months, Sam was already learning about sacrifice and giving. How I regretted that my attitude was not as cheerful as Sam's was at first. The sacrifice may be small but to a toddler who loves food giving it away without having a little bitty sample is unfathomable. But what a great lesson the Lord taught us all. Lord, continue to give us teachable moments with Sam and with myself.

No Sweeter Sounds

2011-02-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

1. There's no sweeter sound to a Mama's ears than to hear this...."uh ew". What is that you ask? That's Sam's way of trying to say "love you". What's sweeter and cuter is the high pitch way he tries to say it just like I do.

2. Another sweetness that I'm sure he will begin to use a lot more is "psss". Insert picture of sweet, innocent grin on face of cutie pie Sam. That's his way of saying "please?". Only he looks way cuter than I ever could.

3. Finally, Sam's latest word that brings me such joy. "two?" Sam wants "two?" of everything. If he's getting a cracker, he'll say "two?" so that he can have one for each hand. How's that for obsessive?!? Please Lord don't let me rub off my OCD tendencies on him. :)

Sam is quickly learning how to charm his Mama! Such a sweet boy he is! And there are no sweeter sounds that this Mama loves to hear than his!

2011-02-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

"No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ. They've got him all backwards." 1 John 3:6 The Message

I've been convicted of this in a lot of different ways....especially the part of "making a practice of sin". You see, I'm what you would call a planner, an organizer, an obsessive person, and certainly a person of principles. Now you might be saying to yourself...aren't those good things? Isn't that what gets the job done at times? At times yes. But at times, my personality and the sin that is so prevalent in my life is NOT. GOOD. How so? Let me explain....because I'm such an obsessive person, I can't let things go. EVER. Scenario #1 If you said you were going to do the dishes, they have to be done RIGHT NOW, and I can't move onto anything else in my brain until they are done. So if you're not going to do it my way, which is right now, move and let me do it (which will really tick me off). Scenario #2 Because I'm a person of principles, I seem to focus on those principles rather than the person at hand. This comes up in my life more times than I can count. Let me further explain...in the first scenario said person didn't do the dishes. Now, rather than to take into consideration that said person could've gone grocery shopping, done laundry, had an awful day at work, fill in the blank, it doesn't matter. The principle was that said person was supposed to do something and they didn't do it.

Do you see how these things can become a problem? My natural reactions to things is to always get mad, to become "principled", to become controlling. But those things happen when I make a practice of putting my needs in front of others. My natural personality comes out and my view of others being first and me being second is clouded. On Sunday, Jared really focused on this principle and I had to laugh because I felt so much conviction from the Lord, and it's pretty hard hearing it through my husband. He talked about rather than fighting with your family, you need to start fighting for them. He used the example of Abram and Lot in Genesis. When they were running out of room and started fighting they just parted ways. Abram knew that it wasn't worth the argument. He chose the person (Lot) over his principles (the fact that he could've made Lot go away since everything he had was bc of his uncle in the first place). So often, I choose principles over people. That's not what Abram did and that's certainly not what Jesus did. Because I've made a "practice of sin", choosing people over principles doesn't come easy for me. So I'm trying, with the Lord's help, to focus more on people and less on my controlling, principled self.

I challenge you to do the same. The next time you feel the urge to get upset or angry, ask yourself, "Is it worth damaging the relationship? Is this issue really more important to me than this person is?" Those two questions have really shaken me and challenged me to the core. Not that I have it all together, but I'm becoming more aware of the sin in my life, and how if I want to be like Jesus, I've got to get rid of it. Otherwise "I've got him all backwards".

Pregnancy Update

2011-02-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

I admit. I've been an awful blogger lately. I realize that some of you read my blog pretty regularly to keep up with the Hollier happenings, but I just didn't want to blog when I felt so awful....BUT I'm feeling much better these days so here's the preggo low down.

1. Went for prenatal visit on January 11. The nurse put me on a religious vitamin routine of B6, ginger root, and Pepcid AC to help with the awful, AWFUL sickness. That was on a Tuesday. She told me if I didn't feel like a new woman by Friday to call the doctor. Well Friday rolled around and I still was sick as a dog...I mean running out of my classroom people! If I were a stay at home mom I would probably make myself tough it out, but getting sick in a public school restroom is just gross. Call me a wimp. I don't care. Anyway, the doctor prescribed me the most angelic, holy, God given medicine called Zofran. And I've been a new woman ever since. Thank you Jesus!

2. Yesterday (February 7) I went for my 10 week visit with the doctor. The nurses tried to find the heart beat just like they tried with Sam and to no avail they couldn't find it. I will admit that a part of me didn't want them to find it just so I could get an ultrasound (for those who don't know this happened with Sam the first 4 visits to the doctor...I got lots of pictures!). I layed down and began explaining all this to the new nurses who had since joined the practice and before you know it they sent me to get an ultrasound! Yay! And that's what we saw! Our little one's heart beat was 173 and it was moving around like crazy! If we have to get an ultrasound next month when we go, the ultrasound tech said she'd be able to tell if it was a boy or a girl by then. So here's to me praying that this little one moves as much as big brother did! We're so excited and can't wait to find out what he/she is and welcome it into the family. I'm also very excited that I'm feeling better. I didn't have this trouble with Sam so this was quite unexpected and frankly unwelcome!

There's nothing like seeing your baby moving on that monitor. It's an undescribable feeling. The only word I can think of is "miraculous". There's nothing I could have done that would be good enough to deserve the honor of carrying and raising children. There is not a harder more humbling experience. God's grace is sufficient. He is so good. We're just praising God for our little one.

The Big News

2011-01-19T11:46:00.000-08:00

The news is out...well to those who have email, facebook, skype, etc. We are expecting baby #2! After my miscarriage in June, I became very anxious about being able to get pregnant again. With Sam, everything was so easy and textbook. Not a worry entered my mind with him. I just prayed everyday and moved on. It wasn't until after he was born that I began to hear stories of pregnancy complications/delivery complications. Now with all the knowledge of what "could" go wrong, I found myself scared. I didn't know if I could get pregnant again. And if I could, who's to say I wouldn't miscarry again? It was a lot of anxiety. I finally realized that I just needed to chill out (that was right around December...when many people are not chilled out). A couple of weeks into the month Patty called me and told me she had had a dream that I was pregnant with a girl and didn't even know it. At that point, I wanted to be pregnant and had already taken two pregnancy tests that turned up negative. My body had all the symptoms of pregnancy that they did with Sam, but I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me. That I wanted to be pregnant so bad that I was making up the symptoms and looking into everything. Well....on New Years Eve day I decided I had had enough with the guessing game. I needed to know. And guess what? Yep. It was positive! I was so excited to finally have some relief! I wasn't crazy after all!

Now I'm about 8 weeks in...and feeling awful! I'm grateful for the awful feelings but ready for them to pass. With Sam I was sick for about 2 weeks beginning around week 12. It always hit right after lunch. This go 'round I'm nausous all the time and I'm dizzy from the medicine the doctor has me taking. I'm taking the same medicine I had to take with Sam, but for some reason the side effects are way worse! Not to worry...I'm praying and moving on! By the nurse's calculations my due date is around September 5. Sam and baby #2 will be a little over two years apart (just barely).

I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about this little one. Right now we're in the midst of praying for a couple who's baby will not survive. The brain and skull are not developed and will not develop. Hearing things like that makes me grateful for all that I have with Sam and all that I'm going through with this little one as well. Pregnancy is truly a miracle and gift from God! I'm praying daily for a healthy and growing baby. Would you join me in this too? I will certainly keep you posted and am so relieved that I don't have to lie (or withhold the truth) about what's going on with me. Most days, I don't feel like doing much. And Jared has been amazing already! I just hope I don't feel this bad the whole time....poor guy is doing EVERYTHING right now. He's the best, and I'm so blessed to be his wife.

I hope this answers all the questions and curiosities. We're so excited and can't wait to meet our little one. Sam is going to be an amazing big brother. I can tell already. He loves to help, and plays with little babies any chance he gets. Such fun times are awaiting. God is so good.

Happy 17 months, Sam!

2011-01-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

In recognition of Sam's 17 months of life in this world, here's a recap of what we've been up to lately:

1. Obeying: Thank you, Lord! Sam says the word "back" when we ask him to put something back. He'll even take his toys from the living room all the way to his bedroom! Wow...let's hope this continues. He knows how to close doors, throw things away, and try to get undressed (for bath time of course). He is quickly learning how to listen and do the things we are asking him to do, which is wonderful. Things we're working on: NO. He's not getting this picture. He is really obedient to do the things we ask him to do, but the things that are "no no's" he's not so much obedient. We are working through this daily, and it's probably the hardest thing about this parenting stage. If he could just learn that no means don't do it, then we'd all be great. How true that is in our own lives as well.

2. Development: Sam is loving books more everyday. It's not unusual for him to grab a book and plop in my lap, us read it, put it "back", and get another one at least 5 times before he's ready to move onto something else. Right now we're working on shapes and sounds. He knows that trucks/cars say "vroom" and cows say "moo". He can also say/identify "star" and we're semi ready to move onto other shapes like circle and heart. He can also sort shapes (which is a big deal bc he used to get so frustrated he would throw the blocks...yep, that's hard headed for ya). He's also learned to dance, which is the funniest thing ever! He just stomps his feet over and over...so cute!

3. Talking: I'm so thankful for Sam's talking. I was so stressed for the longest that he wouldn't talk, but now it seems everyday he is mimicking more of what we say. Here's a list of what he's saying so far:
mama, dada, snack, more, back(for put it back), back back (for back pack), star, light, bye, stack, bath, moo (for cows), vroom (for any loud vehicle), yo (for both Yo Gabba and yogurt), book, night (for night night), door, nana (for both banana or Nana), Maw (for Memaw), Paw (for PawPaw...we're still working on Gran), ball, Jesus, baby, and dog. I think that's about it. It's crazy when you sit down and try and think of all the things he says. The next thing we're working on is please, thank you, and Amen. The cutest thing to see is when we pray before meals or before bed how his face lights up. I wonder what's going on in that little mind of his, and I can't wait to watch him grow in the Lord. I pray every night for him...that He would love and serve the Lord all the days of his life.

4. Playing: Sam's favorite things to do in no particular order would be reading books with Mama, throwing balls with Daddy, drawing with who ever will let him stand on their legs to reach the tipsy top of the easel, playing basketball (more like dunking with Daddy), scooting on his giraffe bicycle, playing with the talking ear thermometer (he sleeps with that thing....weird), and last but certainly not least the refrigerator. I remember when we got our fridge wondering why there was a lock button on the ice and water....now I know. We have to make sure every single time we use it that we lock it back, otherwise there will be a giant puddle all over the floor right beside a soaking wet toddler! Oh, the joys! :)

What an amazing gift God has given us with our little Sambo! I never could have possibly imagined how great our life would be with him in it. Happy Birthday, buddy! Mama loves you!

Lessons learned from the doctor's office

2011-01-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

On Thursday afternoon I took off of work early so that I could take Sam to the doctor in Beaumont. He had been sick for a few days with a runny nose that turned into a bad cough which in turn led to a sad wheezing noise which broke my heart. We made his appointment for 3:00 hoping that we wouldn't have to wait long. Yeah right. We, along with many other sick children, filled the waiting room. We were in there trying to contain our little bundle of joy for an hour! Now before I go on, I need to make a confession. Sam is a super sweet kid, and most of the time a funny, curious one at that. BUT...when he is sick, he turns into the crazy kid. He's whiny, clingy, and, worst of all, a biter. Yes, I said it. I have a biter on my hands, people. I'm not sure where he picked up on this, and he doesn't do it to many people (except those that he loves dearly) but when he gets mad he bites things or people. Sometimes it's the couch, on that day it was his daddy's leg, and once we got into the exam room the doctor's spinning chair. We've gone past the swat on his hand, the firm "no", and now we are in the full fledged "pop your bottom hard" business. And can I just say, IT'S. THE. WORST. It takes all I can do not to cry too when he does. Anyway, for an hour we're trying to corral our son with books and trucks and looking around, but to no avail- he is awful! We finally had to pop him right there in front of everyone! It was so embarrassing that we were the ones with "that kid". I hate being that person. After we waited for an hour in the waiting room to see the doctor, we then go in through the doors where Sam immediately starts crying and wailing like he remembers the torture from last time! Step on the scale to find out our big boy now weighs 27 1/2 lbs! Wow! After that, we then wait another 30 minutes in the room. At this point we are all tired, Sam needs a nap, and let's be honest...those rooms are so small! So what do we do? Well....Jared starts blowing up the hospital gloves to make balloons, that's what! After two of those broke, we then taught Sam how to spin the doctor's chair. At this point, we'd do anything to keep him occupied. Finally the doctor comes in and more wailing and clinging begins. The prognosis was bronchitis for which he gave us many prescriptions, and now I think Sam is on his way to recovery. BUT...let me share with you some lessons I've learned from this experience:

1. I downloaded this app on my phone called Zoodle last night. It is age appropriate interactive videos and games for kids to use. All I did was type in Sam's birthdate and it found all these things for him to do. What's cool is that as he gets older the games will update with him. AND it locks him into that setting so he can't go on other parts of my phone or facebook or call China. We will definitely be using this next time. They also have this available to download for your computer in case your little one also enjoys "your" computer time. :)

2. Bring crayons. The covers of the examining table are basically paper and they throw them away wafter each use, so we can color all over them. A friend of mine gave me that tip AFTER I had mentioned how awful our experience was! We will also be packing those for next time!

3. The Sneaky Chef cookbook. This is one thing that our pedi recommended. When he said Sam was growing like a big boy, I smarted off that I didn't know how because he certainly wasn't eating like one. He told me about how they do things like sneak spinach into brownies! Certainly worth a try since our son literally lives off of breakfast bars and yogurt.

I hope these tips help you the next time you find yourself waiting for LONG periods of time with a restless toddler.

Feel free to share any other tips you may have! I'm sure this won't be our last waiting experience!

Thoughts for the New Year

2010-12-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

As another new year is quickly approaching, I've been thinking about new year's resolutions. I know, I know....who actually keeps them for the whole year? BUT...I have a list of "GOALS" that I want to shoot for this year. Here goes:

1. Making the bed. Our bed rarely gets made. And when it does, chances are, its in the summer or Christmas break or Spring break or any other time when I'm off of school. But it really makes our room look so much nicer when it's made, so I'm going to try and make it more.

2. Cook/Bake more for others. It seems like life gets busier by the moment, but I'm trying to make the effort to cook/bake in bulk, then freeze to have something ready in a moment's notice for a family in need.

3. Do Something! I John 3:18 is our church motto. "Let's not just say we love people, let's show them with our actions."

4. Creating family experiences. I want to make an intentional effort to create experiences as a family. More play, less business. I'm also looking forward to being inventive with our budget friendly outings. It will be interesting I'm sure.

So what about you? Do you have any goals for the new year? I'm curious to see what other people set for themselves and their families. Happy Goal setting!

Highlights of the Season

2010-12-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken a few days before Christmas, but it encompasses what we felt this holiday season. In one word: joy. We have had so much joy this past year, and really in the past few days especially with our families. It would be impossible to post every single picture (though I tried to on facebook) from our Christmas season. Here are some highlights:

1. Christmas Eve Eve: We spent the night at Dad's and were able to hang out with Cody, Heather, Austin, and Gavin. It was so fun to see Sam and Gavin hang out. Gavin is 2 months older than Sam, but they're both finally at the age of playing with each other. They were so cute. You could tell they wanted to play and they would just run up to each other and grin. So fun! It was also fun getting to hang out with just them. No big crowds of people around or busy schedules to have to fulfill. We should do that more often.

2. Christmas Eve morning: Stacey, Chris, and the kids got in after we had all gone to bed so when the kids woke up we were all there. When Jake woke up, Sam crawled right up on top of him and sat on his lap and watched cartoons with him. Jake didn't know what to think of that! Especially since he had just woken up and was still a little groggy.

3. Christmas Eve day: Santa coming to see the kids. Sam hated it. He's not a fan of Santa. At. All. But now I can add a picture of the crying baby with Santa to my repetoire. I'm officially in the parent club now. All in all, we had a blast at Dad's just hanging out and visiting. Very much needed. And again, we need to do that more often.

4. Christmas Eve day Part 2: Going to Jared's mom's house. Sam getting to experience a trampoline for the first time. LOVED IT! He also knew what to do with presents by this point so when Jared's brother brought in a box of gifts, he went straight to them and started unloading them!

5. Christmas Eve night: The Bailey Family Christmas. For those of you who don't know, we last counted 71 members of this elite club. And there's 2 more coming! It's crazy, but fun! Sam loved it for the most part, but had to go to bed....it had been a long day for him! That night as we drove home we stopped by Pine Forest Baptist Church for their dancing light show. So neat to see the twinkle in Sam's eyes as he pointed out "light" and "star". Last year he slept right through the show.

6. Christmas morning: Sam waking up and seeing his basketball goal. He spoke his first sentence: "More balls". This kid loves playing with anything that looks like a ball. I can tell sports is in his future. What was so cool was that he got books too, and wanted to sit and read all of them with me. So he'll be a smart athlete!

7. Christmas day: Mom and Mel came over and we opened up presents from them. They do love to spoil that Sam! We were so grateful for the things that they got him, but so was he! He had a blast coloring on his art easel....after he realized that it was for coloring and not just crawling through! Mel and Sam also had a great time wrestling in the ball pit that Debbie got for Sam! All fun gifts that he will love!

8. Christmas evening: We finished out the day with decorating our gingerbread house...what a mess! It was so funny! As soon as Jared put the first sliver of icing, Sam's immediate reaction was to grab and eat it! He loved that icing! I'm surprised that he actually went to sleep at all last night! It was tough knowing that he was eating things that weren't the best for him, but it's Christmas and I don't want to be one of those over controlling moms who doesn't let their kid have any fun, so I just took a deep breath and told myself "It's Christmas. We'll get back to normal next week." I was super proud of Sam for eating ham. He's such a picky eater these days. But two days in a row now, he's had ham and mashed pototoes and gravy. WooHoo...a normal meal!

It was such a great time for us to spend with our families. I'm reminded of how blessed we are and how much people love our little man! We truly are blessed to be a blessing...and it was fun to be able to bless other people! So those are some of the highlights...there were many more, but those are some that stuck out. And today, Sam said another sentence! "Mama, more!" And to think, I was worried for nothing. :)

Just Another Day in Paradise

2010-12-20T17:34:00.001-08:00

Sam is "reading" the Christmas story with Jared. He says "ba" and points to Baby Jesus!

Did I mention how much Sam loves crawling and climbing all over Jared?!?

Priceless.

And this my friends is a light saber. He got this as a Christmas present from Lee and Shirley, some very dear friends of ours in Marshall. Shirley thought he might be too small for it, but this has been the toy of the day. I don't think Sam even picked up any other toy today. Here he is demonstating his awesome skills with it.

This is just before he went down the hall beating on the walls and doors. I love that kid.

This was Sam's second favorite toy today. I told Sam to put them on his feet and this is what he did. We're still working on learning all that. Today I asked him where his nose was and he stuck out his tongue. He's such a crazy kid....we'll get there. Haha!

I thought I'd share some pictures from our everyday adventures. The best things in life certainly are free.

Trip Down Memory Lane

2010-12-20T16:20:00.001-08:00

Sam and I in front of some of the lights at the Courthouse in Marshall.

This was as close as he would go to Santa by himself. We had to give the cookie to Santa to give to Sam. Am I proud of this? No, but you do what you gotta do to get the annual Santa picture sometimes.

Dad and Sam walking around...probably his favorite spot.

Beautiful courthouse...it was so beautiful to see.

I'll be the first to admit that it was a little emotional for me coming back to Marshall. This was the place where Jared and I met, dated, and became engaged and now we brought Sam to see the town. We hadn't been back in so long. After we walked around the courthouse we took a drive through ETBU to see their new student center. That really got me emotional as we drove through all the places that we used to go, the places we used to walk, and sit and talk as we were dating. It was a whirlwind trip with driving to Marshall that day and then staying overnight with our friends in Shreveport that night. We left the next morning after having breakfast with them. It was a fun, quick little family trip. Memories in the making.

2010-12-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

We recently had grandkid pictures made for my mother in law as a surprise gift for her for Christmas. She doesn't have internet (crazy I know) so I can post these. Shhhhh...it's a surprise! Sam had not taken a nap that day so these were the few that we got of him where he wasn't screaming and clinging...because that's what my kid does when he hasn't had a nap.

All the grandkids from freshman in high school (sniff sniff) to Sam the 16 month old!

This one is my favorite! Love Sam's innocent little face!

I wanted to post something since I've been taking a blog sabbatical. Sometimes I can get overly interested in blogs and see all these things that other moms are doing and I get really insecure about my role as a mother. Why can't I make time for Bible studies with my kid, and make cute crafts with him, and blah blah blah. So I had to take a step back and do some soul searching with the Lord. I get so worried about Sam...is he talking enough? is he going to be a good reader? (yes I think about this stuff already) and the list goes on and on. As much as I love to stay connected through blogs, facebook, etc. sometimes it's too much. Everyone posts every victory of their child (as do I) and then I start wondering....Sam can't say "ho, ho, ho" what's wrong with him? Then guess what I start teaching Sam...you guessed it! Ho, Ho, Ho! You know what his new words are? Star and Hey. So needless to say, I've had to take a step (or maybe two) back. But I'm good. I'm continually having to give my constant worries and insecurities over to the Lord and He and I together are conquering them.

In other news, tomorrow is our early release for Christmas break. I am SOOOOOOO ready. We're driving to Marshall to look at the lights with Sam and hopefully have some good family holiday fun! I'll post pictures soon. Here's my agenda for Christmas break:

1. Go see Christmas lights.
2. Picture with Santa.
3. Make gingerbread house
4. Visit families/have families over
5. Staff Christmas party (where we WILL use my china!)
6. Bag up stuff for Goodwill
7. Sleep late. :) Yes please!

Hope you enjoy your Christmas! Remember that it's not about Santa, it's about Jesus and what His life did for the world. Merry Christmas!

Servant's Heart

2010-11-28T11:35:00.000-08:00

I came across the neatest idea for cultivating a servant's heart in your children. You can see it by clicking here. Even though I think it's never too young to start teaching your children about the Lord and how He desires us to live, Sam's not quite big enough for this activity just yet. So Jared and I decided to adapt the Creative Homemakers' idea and apply it to our lives daily. We are going to stick with the same "Lord's Hands" principle, but each day we will take a hand with us as we leave our house. Our job is to do something kind for someone and leave the hand in it's place. We could serve someone in our house, at our works, in the comunity, or even a perfect stranger. I think it's a neat way for us to become more aware of ways to reach out and serve those around us.

Our Sunday school lesson was also about having a servant's heart. The conclusion we all came to was that there are tons of opportunities to serve other people if we would just stop and take the time to look around. My desire is to make a difference for the Kingdom in my everyday life in Jasper. For such a time as this, Jared and I are called to serve this community. Though some people just see Jasper as their community where they've grown up, for us it's our mission field. We didn't choose here, God did. And there's gotta to be a reason for it. So we're going to make the most of our time, talents, and resources.

I'm curious to hear other ideas, too. What do you do to teach your children and often to keep your own heart pointed in the right direction?

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T09:36:00.000-08:00

This week-o-thanksgiving has been exactly what our family needed...family time and rest. We were able to see all our family in two days instead of one, which made everyone happier I think. For some reason I had this nightmare of Sam not napping and being this crazy kid for everyone. Didn't happen. He napped, his two molars came in, and he was a delight to be around. He loves being around people, old or young. He's such a curious kid these days, and learning new things everyday. When I look at him in this picture, my heart just about melts. Around this time two years ago, I was pregnant and didn't even know it. Little would I know that I would have this little boy who I would love more than anything in the world. God has certainly poured out his blessings on my family. I can remember finding out we were having a boy and being really scared. I wasn't raised around boys....most all of my cousins were girls. What in the world would I do with a boy? God certainly has perfect plans for us, doesn't He? This little boy is already being a blessing to so many people. He's brought joy to so many lives, and he's certainly brought his Momma closer to God. I find myself constantly seeking God for guidance on how to be the Momma HE wants me to be and the Momma Sam needs me to be.

I'm reminded this time of year and throughout the year of God's goodness. Even through the different seasons of life, good or bad, blessing or trial, God is still good. ALL THE TIME.

Amen.

Day 8-10: I'm a roller coaster!

2010-11-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

It's amazing when I sit back and read my blogs from day to day and see how God intertwines my daily activities to lead me back to him. I'm a little behind on my thankfulness blogs so here goes:

Day 8: Thankful that my house is getting another viewing on Friday at 9 am (prayers please!). If you've ever put your house on the market then you know the feeling that I'm feeling. I'm just ready to move on. But the couple that is looking is the same couple that looked last week so I guess that's a good sign.

Day 9: Thankful that that awful day is behind me. What a dark, discouraging day it was. From the moment I walked through the doors all I heard was negativity. And to top it off, my kids got in soooo much trouble during rotation. I was so sad. Some days I can handle the paper work, the constant griping, bickering, and negativity and some days it's just too much. I want to feel like I'm making a difference, but it's hard when all it is is test, test, test, growth, growth, growth, documentation, documentation, documentation. Yesterday was just too much. But....

Day 10: The Lord's mercies are new EVERY morning. Today was a new day, and it went so great. It started off with walking to the park with my students. I sat and then played with some of the sweetest boys. They were all playing catch and it just made me look forward to the day when Sam and Jared and I can all play catch. I'm quite sure they didn't notice how much I was watching them, but it was such a sweet time for me. Then as we were walking back my kids started coming up with cause/effect relationships for the park (this is what we've been talking about this week). You can imagine my suprise when one of my students started throwing out vocabulary words! "We had to go to lunch so we had to leave the park. That's a cause/effect relationship, Mrs. Hollier!" "Mrs. Hollier, this is a vacant gas station!" Were my ears deceiving me? No, they weren't! But to top it all off guess what I heard next???? "Mrs. Hollier, it's fun to learn and play at the same time!"

Wow. That's what should be going on everyday. Instead its the same ole same ole. Not anymore. I am determined...no matter what...to make my kids love learning again. Other highlights from the day: As my students were whining on the walk back to the school I taught them to be a winner not a whiner. And all my kids started shouting, "I'm a winner!"

Isn't God amazing? I know that on my worst days, God is still there. He's still amazing. Even though I've gone through a bad day and now a good day, God's still the same. I'm so thankful for that. He doesn't change from day to day like I do. Thank you Lord for a great day today.

Day 7: God speaking in BIG ways

2010-11-07T19:14:00.001-08:00

I'm so thankful for the way God uses little things to speak to me in BIG ways. Today was an awful day. And I mean awful! Sam has started throwing fits and it seemed like all day today he threw fits. Jared also had a rough day today too. On my way home from church I was just praying, asking God to give me peace with Sam. And it was just as plain as day He said, "Tomorrow is a new day." That was it. Just something small that spoke to me in a HUGE way. I also read some blogs from a Focus on the Family online community that reassured me that we're not alone. Apparently this is a common thing that I shouldn't freak out about. Those are just little things that God uses to speak to me. And I'm so thankful for all the little ways that God does that.

Day 6: Weekends with Mom

2010-11-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful for weekends when I can go home. This morning I slept in and when I got up Sam was up, fed, and getting dressed. It's nice to come home and just relax. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't take advantage of the head rubs and coffee that's made for me. It's ridiculous! My mom spoils me beyond belief. And today especially I'm so thankful to have a weekend of laying around and spending time with her. No schedules. Just laughs, coffee, and head rubs. We were able to go shopping at Old Town Spring with my aunt and some of her friends and that was fun too! We even took Sam...which I was REALLY nervous about. But he did great, and we had a great visit. We even found our way home without getting lost (the first time ever!). I'm just thankful for the rest and rejuvenation that I feel whenever I'm with her. So thankful for you mom!

Day 5: Sam

2010-11-05T12:00:00.001-07:00

Words can't even begin to describe how overwhelmingly blessed I am by this little guy.

But...I thought these pictures said a thousand words.

Day 4: My amazing husband!

2010-11-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful that God had a perfect plan when he allowed me to meet Jared. God certainly knew what he was doing there! Not many husbands would take their one day off each week and stay at home with our almost 15 month toddler. But he does it so willingly. I think Thursdays might even be the highlight of his week. :) Not many men I know are willing to cook because their wife is hopeless in the kitchen. Not many men I know are willing to help with laundry. We definately don't follow traditional household roles that's for sure! But it works for our family and we're better because of it. I don't know what I would do without Jared. He's an amazing husband, daddy, pastor, and friend. And today especially, I'm thankful for him. I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I love you babe! And I'm so thankful that God put you in my life!

What are you thankful for?

Day 3: God's perfect plans

2010-11-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

I've been checking my cell phone every chance I get today. My good friend Jessica is supposed to have her precious miracle Noelle today. She was induced this morning and we (all of her family, friends, and prayer partners) anxiously await the news of Noelle's arrival. Today especially reminded me of God's perfect plans. I've been so guilty about wanting to do things my own way, in my own time, and certainly on my own schedule. Thankfully God doesn't hold that against me. God's plans are so perfect. I needed that reminder today with all the things that have been going on with me and my family lately. I haven't blogged or told many about this, but I feel like I can now. In June, I had a miscarriage. Yep. I said it. Those big, ugly words. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but we also weren't trying not to. In one day I went from excitement to the very next day and weeks into sadness, questions of why God? Do I know why that happened? No. But I don't need to. I know that I know that I know that God's plans are SOOOOO much better than our own. He is our creator! How much better are his plans for us since He made us, and calls us His children. So on days like today, when I'm full of excitement for my precious friend, I'm reminded of just how perfect His plan is. Even when I don't understand it. Even when you don't understand it, just TRUST.

Day 2: Rainy, thunderstorm kinda nights

2010-11-02T11:39:00.000-07:00

I think God REALLY has a sense of humor. Why? Because yesterdayI began my 25 days of Thanksgiving with how I was thankful for my school and today I was thankful for the rain and do you know what met me in my room this morning? Rain all over my desks AND BRAND SPANKIN' NEW textbooks. Yeah...that's ironic I think. What's even more funny for all of you non-Jasper folks is that we are right in the middle of a huge bond election that isn't getting much support. The bond would build a new elementary school since this one was the original elementary school. In fact here are some issues that those of you who are against this bond and think "it was good enough for me, it's good enough for my kids" might not know...

1. Our school was built before the invention of computers. Therefore, it gives the local fire inspector a heart attack when he comes through inspecting the major fire hazard bc of the lack of plugs in our room.

2. Every room in our building leaks...and onto things that are REALLY expensive.

3. There is mold...yuck!

4. If you have a class size of 22, you are squeshed like sardines.

REGARDLESS of if this bond passes or not, I will teach to the best of my GOD given abilities. Why? Because I'm a teacher, and that's what we do. Even though I think our kid's deserve something better, and I'm okay sacrificing $25 a month to make it be better. So maybe that's what I need to be thankful for today in addition to the rain. Hmmm....

25 Days of Thanks

2010-11-01T04:31:00.000-07:00

Last year I stole this idea from the wonderful Ms. Gina, and I was reminded of it this year when I saw her blog post this morning. Each day marking down to Thanksgiving I'll post or facebook something I'm thankful for. I challenge you to do the same...you'd be surprised how good your life is and how much better your perspective is throughout the day. So here goes.

Day 1: I'm thankful for my job. Most people these days aren't that appreciative of their jobs, in fact they view them as a pain. Especially on Monday mornings! I am choosing Monday of all days to be thankful for my job. It's easy to grumble when you get up everyday at 5:30, get to school and have tons to do, documentation, observations, and that's not even the kiddos yet! Instead, I'm choosing to be thankful for what I have....a good paying job that gives me days off with a sick kid, health insurance for me and Sam, vacation days, HOLIDAYS, and playing a huge role in the lives of hundreds of kids that I probably would not have known otherwise. Some of the kids that I teach day after day after day have no Godly influence in their life AT ALL. At all means I'm it people. No, I realize I can't save 'em all. I've certainly had my share of experiencing that, but I certainly can show them that there is a life that is better for them than the one that they've got and are headed to. That's a job I don't take lightly and am thankful to do.

So...what about you? What are you thankful for? I encourage you to take the challenge that I did. Grow a thankful heart today.

~Elizabeth

Happy Reformation/Halloween!

2010-10-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

This was our first Halloween to actually trick or treat....kinda is a lost art I think. We normally do a Fall Festival at our church, but since we've been working on the FLC we all were ready to do something a little smaller scale this year. So we decided to take our kids trick or treating this year. It was so much fun! Sam has now learned the yummy taste of Nilla Wafers thanks to the wonderful Mrs. Kim and we got lots of yummy treats that Sam won't be ready for this year. :) Isn't that the best part about Halloween???? It was a great weekend, even though Sam's been fighting the allergies/cold this weekend. We had a blast and he just loved being around the other kids. He LOVES being around big kids. He is such a blessing to our lives. Everyday he learns more and more and surprises us all the time! I never knew how much joy he would bring to our lives and how much love I feel for him. Who knew, right?

All in all, great weekend for us. I love my family more than anything in the world.

God Thought #3: Control

2010-10-30T18:14:00.001-07:00

The past two Saturdays have been absolutely glorious! They've been filled with family fun-ness! Last Saturday we went to a very small, I'm not sure you can even call it a patch, pumpkin patch. We'll just call it a parking lot full of pumpkins. Nonetheless, it was a great fun trip for our little family. This weekend we spent Friday night at the tree house painting/carving pumpkins. Saturday morning was spent handing out free links and drinks to people in the community and then tonight we went to Vidor for our nephew Seth's birthday party. I'm finding out more and more just how much I enjoy spending time with my family and keeping my priorities straight, not to overload my schedule, and to make time for the fun stuff.

During these little fun activities, my teacher brain wants to provide Sam with all the learning experiences possible, like drawing with sidewalk chalk (which he could care less about), or learning to color (which he is getting the hang of), and this past weekend was painting with a paint brush. I call these learning experiences for Sam, but excercises for me. They are excercises for me to let go of the reins so to speak and to let Sam have fun and enjoy himself. A part of me wanted to make Sam use the paint brush when he wanted, and rather enjoyed it more, to use his fingers to paint the pumpkin. That was a small victory. I could have had a power struggle on my hands. Me, the controlling mother, and Sam the very independant toddler these days. BUT...I let it go. What's the point? Is the point for things to always go my way or for Sam to have fun experiences with his family? Even though that may seem like such a tiny thing for some of you, for me it's a big deal. I am a planner, organizer, list maker, CONTROLLER to a fault. In some cases, these things are great, but most of the time they are not. Why you ask? Well, because the world doesn't revolve around me, that's why! And I need to be okay when things don't go my way...even little things. Just saying that out loud makes me think of a spoiled brat pitching a fit. Not that I ever did throw a fit like a little kid, but in my spirit I will admit a little fit throwing.

God is slowly teaching me through Sam's learning experiences and my excercises in giving up control that it's better when God has His way to begin with. His way is so much better than my manipulated situations anyway.

These are a few of my favorite things...cue music please!

2010-10-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

1. fuzzy socks

2. hot cocoa

3. pumpkin bread

4. snuggling under covers

5. the smell of fires in chimneys in our neighborhood (we have several older folks and whenever the first cold snap hits, they are the first to light a fire!) We love them!

6. sweatshirts

7. leaves on the ground

8. my favorite colors everywhere...reds, oranges, yellows

9. cold weather! that should be at #1

10. no mosquitos (at least at our house)!

Life's Greatest Blessings

2010-10-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

It doesn't get much greater than this....I'm realizing more and more each day how much I love being with my family more than anything in the world. And this little man steals my heart a little more each day.

God Thoughts #2: Insecurity

2010-10-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

So a good friend of mine recommended this book months ago and after Jared saw Beth Moore at Catalyst I asked him to pick up her new book, "So Long, Insecurity. You've been a bad friend to us." Now let me go ahead and get this out in the open. There was no revelation reading this book that went like this: "OMG....I think I'm insecure!" No it definately wasn't like that. I've always known I was insecure. The problem is now I'm realizing the EFFECTS of my insecurity.

You see, many years ago there once was a little girl who hated her nose. When I say hated, I really really mean HATED. So much so that she begged her mother for a nose job in elementary school. Her mother told her over and over how beautiful she was and how beautiful her nose was especially. But the enemy kept whispering in the little girls ear..."She has to say that stuff. She's your mom." Even at such a young age, my insecurity was beginning to creep into my life and grow like a bad case of weeds. Have you ever noticed that? Weeds can be gone one day and the next time you look up there's TONS of them again? Ug...so annoying. Just sayin'.

Through high school, the body images only got worse. It went from my nose, to my weight, and then moved into my grades. Would I even make it through college? Then it became the "freshman fifteen". Which then led to the up and down roller coaster of weight. I've always known that I was insecure about my weight, but I'm now realizing that I'm way more insecure about things and that it's damaging my relationships. Here's what I mean....

1. There are some people in my family that I love soooo dearly. But everytime I'm around them, I get WAY insecure. I want them to think I'm beautiful instead of worrying about what My God and Creator thinks of me.

2. Since becoming a Momma, my insecurities have only blown up! Not only am I insecure about what I look like, but now I'm constantly worried about Sam. Am I the "bad guy"? Does he like me? Am I giving him everything he needs? What if he grows up and hates me? Or worse, what if he hates the Lord? The list goes on and on...before long I'm doubting everything about my mothering skills.

3. Not only am I insecure about myself and my mothering skills, but then I project my insecurities onto Jared. I'm insecure about what people think of him. I want everyone to like him and see the things he does that nobody knows about. I'm insecure for the both of us...and that my friend is not good.

So the Lord has been teaching me that my wreckless, insecure, believing every lie the enemy gives me behavior is not just affecting me. It affects everyone I come in contact with. Not only is He teaching me how to be aware of these lies that Satan feeds me, but I'm also learning how to be more proactive with my thoughts, filling my mind and my heart with the things that honor the Lord. I am by no means a master of insecurity, but I feel like I'm on the right track to recognizing these lies and combatting them with what God thinks of me instead.

After this very conversation with a friend of mine, we were talking about the miracle of life. Molecules have to collide at just the right second for a baby to be conceived. That's a miracle. That means that every life was made possible by a perfect God who had a plan of just the right time for those "molecules to collide". If God is so precise with these precious miracles, then that just goes to show how much he loves them. Us. We were at one time one of those molecules that God made collide at just the right time. Such a divine Creator we worship.

More God thoughts to come,

~Elizabeth

God Thought #1: Time

2010-10-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

A lot has been on my mind lately and I feel like there's not enough time to ever process it all. I process through talking to people or talking through blogs. Since life is crazy all the time, this seems to be the best resource for me at the moment. I think I'm going to try and blog about each thing individually so that my mind and heart can sort through each issue solely. Does that make sense? Well anyway, here goes...

For the past few months, or maybe even years, I've struggled with feeling the Lord's presence and hearing Him speak to me. I bought into the lies that the enemy fed me...you know them. Here's how it went for me: "You're a preacher's wife. You don't hear God and you don't feel God. You're just a fake!" And for the longest I believed that, until I started seeking some godly counsel from my wonderful pastor. :) Jared and I talked a lot about putting time into a relationship with God. Even though these were things I had learned so long ago, I felt like I was falling through the same traps over and over. I began to pray HARD. I began to beg and plead with God. I wanted to hear His voice. I wanted to feel His presence. And do you know what happened? NOTHING. Yes, you heard me. NOTHING. At first, I was angry. God, don't you hear me? I'm trying to do the right thing. I don't understand. It must have been months that I prayed to feel God's presence with me, or to hear Him speak to me. BUT....I kept praying and kept seeking. And one day, it was like the flood gates of heaven poured out. And now, I have all these convictions and emotions and things that God is teaching me and dealing with me about. One of them is my time. My time on this earth is so very precious. My time with my family is so very precious. And my time with the Lord is so very precious. What am I spending my time doing? It would be easy to fill up my schedule with things to do...good things mind you. Church things even. But would that necessarily be the best thing for me? Not always. I used to feel like I had to be everywhere and do everything. Now I'm realizing that sometimes, my time is better spent at home with Sam or with just me spending time with the Lord quietly. I realized this first when I had to stay at home with Sam one Sunday morning. He was just getting over being sick and I decided it would be best to keep him home since he had had fever over the weekend. He slept most of the day away and I spent most of the day listening to sermons on tv, praying, and reading my Bible. I told Jared that I wished every Sunday was like that. Not that his sermons aren't amazing, but I was in my pjs drinking coffee with not a care in the world. And God taught me so much that day.

I guess to try and put this lesson into concluding terms...I would say that I'm having to make the conscious effort to be aware of where my time and attention is going. My priorities are God and family then everything else. If I want my life to be all that it can be for God and my family then I have to make sure that I'm putting my efforts there first. Then all else can come.

More God thoughts to come,
~Elizabeth

2010-10-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine shared this blog post with me. It's about how people anonymously write how they feel just to get it out. Sometimes I feel like this and I wanted to share. I wanted to share bc I don't want to keep it all inside. I want to be open and transparent with people, so please let me do that. :)

Welcome to "What I wish I could tell you"...an anonymous platform for bloggers to share what they don't feel free to share on their own blogs. If you have a story/thought/ache/hurt/feeling/secret/prayer request you want to get out, feel free to email me at ricracandpompoms @ gmail.com. You will remain anonymous to all but me unless you choose otherwise.
The author of this entry has chosen to stay anonymous. Say hello to anon #3:

I wish you knew how difficult it is to be the wife of a minister. I love that my husband serves with all of himself but at times I would love to be able to tell people, "enough, he is mine and I would like some time with him over dinner when the phone doesn't ring and he is out the door to be with you instead of us."I wish you knew that I just want a friend, someone to talk to honestly that I can trust won't go and tell others, or judge me for not being the "perfect" Christian wife. I wish you knew how hard it is for our family to set boundaries for ourselves to keep God first and next our family, before our service to you. I wish you knew how we have to constantly remind ourselves that we weren't called to please people, but to please God alone. Sorry it upsets you that we aren't having this event, or singing that song but we really do feel like "this" is where God has called us to lead you. I would love to feel comfortable just being me. I don't blame this all on you, I know I need to be accountable only to God and not to who you think I am or should be. I'm reminding you that we are just like you; sinners saved by grace, over and over again. Is it to much to ask of you to remind me of that too? Could you tell me you know how I feel when I can't seem to get my kids to obey and get in the car. The look of disapproval is just to much for me today. I'm not a fan of the way they are acting either but I don't always have the answers either. This may be shocking to you but my husband and I would LOVE for you to invite us over for a beer and smores by your fire pit like you do all of the other couples in the church. He loves the movie The Big Lebowski, I read things other than the Bible, and it would be awesome if we could just feel like normal people when we tell you that. I guess I just wish you knew that I'm just like you. My husband would love to have biscuits and gravy for dinner but I don't care; I hate biscuits and gravy so we aren't having them. Unfortunately I yell at my kids sometimes. I love to sing Hillsong at the top of my lungs. I curse. I am brought to immense emotion when I grasp even a little bit of what grace really is. Sometimes I would love to quit. Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could.

Blooming Personality

2010-09-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

I titled this post, blooming personality because it seems like that's what I've been talking about a lot lately. When Sam hit 12 months this blooming personality came out. Now first let me tell you...Sam has always been a ham. He gets it honest..really. But since turning a year, his "hamness" has been cranked up a few notches! And I just can't get enough of it! BUT...now that we're over the 13 month hill, another blooming personality trait has come out...curiosity! And can I just say, I LOVE IT! Everything is "Dat? Dat?" Can you tell what he's saying..."What's that? What's that?" I have been so stressed about Sam speaking but I've come to realize that he's okay where he is. Here are some of the words Sam is saying now: Mama, Da, book, dog, nana (for any kind of food or drink he may want), ball, light, ni(for night night), and I'm pretty sure du (for duck) and of course dat?(with expression mind you). He's also turning the lights on and off, opening and closing doors, learning eyes, nose, and mouth, throwing and picking up balls, turning pages for books, and walking now thank the Lord. Can you tell I'm a proud momma???? I still stress out about him being exposed to enough or challenged enough, but at the same time I want to keep his curiousity and wonder of a child. I told myself once he started to walk I wouldn't worry so much. Then I found myself saying, once he talks I won't worry so much. But now he's walking and talking and I'm still worried about him! I'm beginning to think the worrying will never end...and I'm also beginning to understand how my parents felt! I know the worrying is because I love him and I want the best for him, but I know that worrying in itself is still sin. I'm not trusting my precious Sam to the creator of him to begin with!

I'm praying that I will learn to trust my Heavenly Father more with the things that are important to me and not worry so much about the things that aren't important to me ( or rather shouldn't be important to me).

I don't know if these blog posts are ever encouraging or challenging to you, but they always tend to be for me. I guess just putting it out there into my own thoughts helps the Holy Spirit speak as my fingers type. Mmm...modern technology and the Holy Spirit's conviction. I like it.

~Elizabeth

Favorite Pics

2010-09-16T17:31:00.000-07:00

My newest nephew, Trevor Joseph Vaughan. Such a cutie pie! Had so much fun visiting with them! I can't wait to see him again.

Sam in his big boy chair! I can't believe how big he's getting!

Sam and Daddy walking to the football game. He's wearing his big boy shoes because he's walking now! WooHoo! I'll try and post the video soon! It's kinda long, bc we were so excited!

2010-09-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

Everyday at 2:00 my energy level plummets. I mean, I feel like a zombie. But then I put a piece of Stride gum in my mouth and instantly I'm energized. I read that in a book somewhere to try that. It actually works. Gum is cheaper and has less calories than a Dr. Pepper, so I think I'll try it. Happy Tuesday!

Into the depths of honesty and confession

2010-09-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be real open and honest with you blogger peeps, whoever you may be. I've haven't blogged in quite some time for two reasons:

1. Our computer has officially died. Hopefully the computer shack that it's at can repair it enough to get our pictures off of it, otherwise I will have a fit.

2. I have been completely exhausted/overwhelmed/going to fall asleep standing up since school started.

BUT...today was a great day. This school year hasn't been the greatest so far. In fact, it's been very difficult. Let me just say that it's been a long time since I've wanted to quit a job on a daily basis. In fact, the last time was when I worked the summer as a beer cart girl on the golf course...not my finest job I know. It seems like this year we've got so much more to do that I am actually not able to do anything at all. Does that make sense? If you're a teacher, it should. More curriculum to squeeze in, more documentation, more pullouts, more blah blah blah. With all the "more" business I wasn't able to really listen and help my kids. And that DOES NOT fly with me. I could care less about all the new state laws or grant money or any of that. My focus has and hopefully always will be the kids. Budgets will get cut. TAKS has already changed and will change to something else. Curriculum fads will come and go. But I am a teacher. A teacher doesn't change with the tides. Their focus should always be on the best interest of the students. And when I feel like people won't leave me alone and let me do that....I get a little irritated. Now, I told you I was going to be open and honest, and if this offends you then just stop reading my blog, because eventually I'll get to the good part. Sometimes I feel unsuccessful at my job. Like there are so many other "paperwork" deadlines and 5E lesson plans that there's just not enough time in the day. By the time I finally go home, I'm exhausted and Sam is just about ready for bed. That again DOES NOT fly with me. I am Mommy first, then Mrs. Hollier. This morning, just like every other morning, during the moment of silence I pray. I pray for a good day, for me to love these kids like Jesus, and for me to have patience with certain groups that will come through my door. But today, I meant it. For the past two weeks, I'd been going through the motions hoping that it would make a difference. Today, I actually stopped and earnestly seeked God and begged Him to help me make a difference. I couldn't stand the feeling of not making a difference, of being one of "those" teachers who should've called it quits a long time ago. I couldn't handle that feeling another day. And do you know what? God answered.

It's amazing how God responds when you earnestly seek Him. When you stop faking it and stop praying the "right" things, but when you get real with God. He knows our deepest longings and desires. But He wants us to give it to Him. God knows my heart. He knows how much of difference I want to make with these kids. He knows how exhausted I am by the end of the day. God knows it all. But for some crazy reason, I think I can press on in my own strength. I know I'm not good enough. I know I can't do it alone, but the devil tricks me into thinking that I can. I can do this. If I could just get this done, If they would just leave me alone, If they would stop....on and on and on.

If I would just bring God with me, everything would work out. And today, I did. And today...it worked out great.

I pray that this word would encourage you to do the same thing. No matter where you're going or what you're doing, bring God with you. I heard this song a long time ago but the lyrics always stick in my head:

Can you not tarry a while
Can you afford me a moment
I have got so much to say
I've got an ocean to show you
Can you not spare just one smile
Can you not sit at my table
We could be the best of friends
If you would just let me in
But you won't'
Cause you don't
Think you're in need

(Chorus:)Can you see
How His heart breaks
When He wants so much to carry you through
Can you hear
He is calling you,
drawing you
Just to be part of your story
Let Him live in the heart of your story
How He longs to be part of your story

Do you remember a time
When all your flowers were blooming
You had a reason to live
When you had someone to follow
That was then
This is now
Something's changed

Each day we live
We turn another page
Will He be right there inside
Found in each line
Found in each phrase?

Jesus is there at the door
Why don't you get up and answer
You could be the best of friends
If you would let him come in

Can you see
How His heart breaks
When He wants so much to carry you through
Can you hear
He is calling you, drawing you
Just to be part of your story
Can you fall
With your face down
Swallow your poisonous pride and be free
Can you feel
There's a wealth of compassion
That flows from the heart of the king
Won't you let Him be part of your story
Let Him live in the heart of your story

Ramblings of Insomnia

2010-08-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

I hate nights (or rather mornings) like this. It's 3:09 am and I'm awake. Blurg. I can't sleep. I have a million things running through my head right now. Here are just a few:

1. I need to tell Jared to remember to ask the doctor about vitamins. I think I've already done this like five times, but I tend to be a little OCD about remembering these things. You see our non-picky infant is now a very picky toddler. How did that happen? I was so sure I wasn't going to let him be a picky eater like I was. So...we are doing a little improvising. Last week, Sam ate his carrots by golly. It was on a hot dog bun, but he ate them nonetheless. So we need to ask the doctor what to do to help bridge the nutritional gap.

2. School. Geez. My room is ready, but mentally I'm not. There are still procedures that I need to write down to practice so that I can remember to do them on Monday! I just don't feel like I've done everything. I feel like there's something HUGE I'm forgetting, but I just can't remember it. And then at the very last minute I'll remember. That's never how my year begins....EVER! So I'm just hoping that it's just the nerves of a new room, new group, and new curriculum (which is really good stuff btw).

3. I need to start working out again. I need to lay off the caffeine (yikes). I wonder when I can walk...before school? After school? I know I'm going to be exhausted, but I need to find the time to do it. Maybe I could get up at 5 and do it. This ramble went on for hours in my mind. My conclusion is to try and wake up at 5, walk for 30 minutes, then leave the house by 6:3o. That is so early, but I like to get to school early when it's calm and quiet. I also like to leave pretty early since there's only so much time to be with Sam before he goes to bed. Which leads into my next point...

4. Sam is STILL not walking! I'm trying not to worry about this, but Satan is having a field day with my mind. I think, as educators at least, we see TOO much. I've seen kids who've come from homes that weren't challenged, where learning wasn't encouraged. So now, I've got this fear in the back of my mind that I don't want Sam to be like that. That's not necessarily a bad thing, until I make it one. I want him to hit every developmental milestone on time, maybe even early! Now that I'm working with GT, I've been searching for signs of giftedness! Good grief! I forget that he is only one (yes that still makes me sad to say). I forget about all the things he IS doing like joking and playing around with us, or being such a problem solver. It's fun to just sit back and watch him figure something out. He really gets it a lot quicker than I would think. Sam starts going to a baby sitter on Monday. She's a friend of ours, but it's still scary since he'll be around other kids. I'm hoping that will help motivate him to walk. But I'm also scared. If you've read my blog at all, you might pick up on the fact that I'm a little control freak. I like to have everything organized, categorized, and even labeled! That's how it is in my brain and in real life sometimes. :) But now that Sam will be with other kids, there's a lot that he will learn that is out of my control (good or bad). I have to admit, that makes me a little nervous. But I know that this is only the beginning. We live in a world that doesn't honor God. There are things that Sam will see and hear that we are going to have to explain and then teach the opposite of. Ready or not, here it comes! I guess I just thought it wouldn't be happening this soon, but it is.

So I guess that's not really THAT much on my mind, right? Haha. I know that the Lord has got us right where he wants. And I also know that He is going to take care of us. I just have to remind my OCD, control freak, type A personality of that sometimes. Blogging helps me to do that. Something about writing (or typing rather) helps put things into perspective. Thank you blogger friends for letting me be real and honest with you about the dealings of my life... big and small. My hope is that something we're dealing with in our family may encourage you. Be blessed.

~Elizabeth

A Godly Teacher

2010-08-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Even though I moan and groan worse than anyone when the alarm goes off in the morning, and I have a million things that I want to do in my classroom...I'm very excited about school starting. I'm ready for Sam to meet friends to play with while I'm working and I'm thankful for the opportunities we have because I work. With that being said, my heart is always heavy at the beginning of each year. This year, even more so. It's a new year, new classroom, new curriculum, new partner, and new children coming through my door. We had a staff development today that focused on children with poverty, which is something that I face at my school. One of the things he said struck a cord in me and my heart's been broken ever since. He spoke a lot about the "voice" you use with your students. Parent (yelling/telling) voice, Child (whining) voice, and Adult (asking) voice. When we yell at students they will either yell back (take the role of parent) or whine (take the role of child). Instead we ought to take the adult voice which speaks calmly to a child and helps them problem solve instead of telling them what to do. This goes back to something Jared mentioned in church about not wanting to do something just because someone else "said so". That's a whole other blog, but he also said that we need to teach children how to vocalize their feelings. Instead of saying "that sucks" about getting homework, encourage children to explain what that means. Do they have baseball practice, are they mad, do they not have time? Are they taking care of siblings when they get home? Do they even have a pencil at home?

Those two questions left this awful feeling inside me. Why? Because my only job growing up was to not leave empty milk glasses in my room and to not leave gum in my pants before they went in the wash. And if I needed school supplies I knew exactly where to find them....in my dad's bathroom cabinet (it's a really big cabinet) or in the washroom cabinet. There I would find pencils, pens, notebook paper, and folders of all colors that my dad had bought on sale that we would eventually need at some point throughout the year or the next year. Even if there weren't pencils there, I could always look in a drawer in the kitchen or something.

Not having basic necessities was never an issue or concern in my life....ever. Since becoming an adult (scary, I know), wife, teacher, and mother I have since learned that my childhood was extremely blessed. I always knew this, but have been getting gentle reminders about this lately. It is unfathomable to me how someone could not find a pencil at home! I've had students tell me that's why they didn't do their homework! SERIOUSLY! A part of me wants to say, you might as well tell me "your dog ate your homework", but the other part of me...the part that listens to the gentle, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to me, knows that unfortunately that may be true.

My prayer this year is that God would open my eyes to the needs of my students, both in my class and around me. And that I would have compassion for these children and their families. And that when I see a need, I would fill it. Not just pray for them, but try and meet their needs...physical, spiritual, emotional...whatever.

I pray that you (whoever you are) begin to pray for teachers that are beginning their school year. Pray that they would love their students like Jesus. And that they would have compassion and love towards all who they come in contact with. No matter what the state of the educational system is in, my heart is for kids. No test, budget cut, or bond issue can change that.

Sam's 1st Birthday Party/Bash/Extravaganza/BBQ/Water Day/Hottest Day of the Year!

2010-08-15T14:14:00.001-07:00

I guess it could've been worse, right?
Cake and cupcakes

Sam's Power Wheels he got from Nana and Paw Paw Mel

Family picture with the birthday boy. Notice the dirt all over me and him.

Sam's birthday bash was a HUGE success. It really was a great day that was all about him. That's what I wanted it to be. Christmas is about Jesus' birthday, and we want Sam to always remember that. But Sam's birthday is for him. It's the day that we celebrate him, but we wanted him to know how much he's loved! There were about 50 people there all to share in his special day. It was tiring getting everything together, but in the end it was such a fun time. And...I'm already thinking about next year. :)

12 Things I Love About You!

2010-08-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that Sam is a year old today! Seriously...I want time to slow down like it did when I was growing up. Way back then (he he) time seemed to stand still. It seemed as if I would never get my license or graduate high school or even college. Now it just flies by. Today has been a tough day, but not because Sam turned one today. I surprisingly held it together most of the day. Last night Sam was up screaming most of the night. That is not like him at all. He has NEVER done that before....ever. He's always a good little sleeper and goes to bed on his own. We've worked hard for that. But when a baby is sick...it doesn't matter what they're used to, because they just don't feel good. That was Sam last night/this morning. We took him to the doctor and he had 101.6 with an ear infection. Great. On his birthday my poor little baby gets sick. He's been acting better though so hopefully the medicine he's on will help. After the doctor's appointment we got Sam's first haircut, picked up his birthday cake and pictures and headed home. Other than screaming all night, Sam's had a pretty relaxing birthday. Tomorrow the festivities start...I can't wait! I know Sam will have a blast just getting to see everyone and chow down on some cake. He does love the cake we found out! So in honor of Sam's 12 months of life, I decided to post some of the things I love about Sam.

1. I love your smile.
2. I love the way you entertain yourself while no one's watching.
3. Your gut laugh that you only share with a few people.
4. I love the way you ham it up for people. It brings so much joy into their lives.
5. I love that you only want me when you're sick. It makes my heart so joyful.
6. The way you say "mama" or "Dada" whenever you're looking for us.
7. Your point. If you've been around Sam at all, you've seen "the point".
8. Your very selective kisses that you only give to momma when you're really sleepy.
9. When you lay your head on my shoulder just for a hug.
10. I love how you teach me so much about the kind of mother I need to be.
11. I love how you teach me how much God loves us, how He is so faithful, and how He is true to His Word.
12. I love you for being you. Stubborn, silly, sick...whatever. "I love you through and through."

On Call

2010-08-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's almost midnight and I'm waiting on Jared to get home from a hospital visit in Beaumont. For those of you who think pastors only work on Wednesdays and Sundays....that's not true. Pastors are on call 24/7. I'm thankful for my husband and the ministry that we're apart of and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But while I'm waiting, I can't sleep. There's so much going around in my head.

1. I worked in my classroom today for a while. I haven't been up there all summer, mostly b/c it's impossible to take Sam with me (and I wouldn't want him there anyway...yuck). Today I began the daunting task of unpacking all my boxes. I moved rooms this year so my stuff had been moved already, but my room is far from being set up. I got everything unpacked, but still need to decorate. Then Lindsay and I headed to Manning's in Beaumont. I sure hyped that place up for her. Unfortunately, they had everything I was looking for and nothing for her. I did use my coupon to save 15%, which I was SUPER excited about. I'm trying to use coupons and trying some money saving tips.

2. My sister had her baby last night. I'm not there, I've only talked to her briefly this morning, and I've only seen a picture. That makes me very sad. And airline tickets have gone up...again.

3. I'm still struggling with this whole new season of life thing. I know it's stupid...it really is. But I feel like I'm no longer able to be spontaneous and fun anymore. I feel old.

4. In a week Sam will be one year old. How did this happen? How could he grow up so fast right before my very eyes? And what is going on with the new stubborn phase? Is he going to be like this forever? How do I make him stop doing this? Is he teething again? And the questions go on and on and on.

This is what my nights have been like for the past few weeks. Laying in bed thinking of any of the previous four points and sometimes even more things. Then I have to stop myself and realize that all I'm doing is worrying and being anxious, which goes against what God's Word tells me.

"Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

That's when I realize that I haven't given anything to the Lord. I haven't given Him my thoughts, my worries, my anxieties, nothing. I've kept them all to myself, and look where it has gotten me. No better than I was before. So now I'm off to bed. To give God my heart so that He can give me His peace and rest.

Thank you Lord for Your Word and Your promises. Thank you that we have your Word that "does not return void."

Tweens

2010-08-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the day shopping with my mom. I had decided to call her up and on a whim drive to Beaumont and go shopping with her. We're taking our final family pictures at the lake and I wanted to find a white shirt. Yes, a white shirt. 6 hours later, I came home with a white shirt for Sam and a white shirt for Jared, but no white shirt for me. After a lot of walking around I decided that I think I'm in this awkward stage right now. I'm not a teenager anymore (and I don't want to be one of those people who still tries to dress like one...you know them), but I'm not 50 either (not that 50 is bad, I'm just not there yet). They have stores for "tweens"....girls that are not kids but not quite ready for teenager clothes. Why don't they have that for twenty somethings? My friend Jessica said they do...it's called the "misses" section. But even there I couldn't find anything I like. I was frustrated and the whole way home I kept thinking how I'm leaving a phase of my life behind me. I am no longer young and in my twenties...footloose and fancy free. I'm 25, married, and about to have a 1 year old. Those are two different seasons of life. Although a part of me was kinda sad at this realization, a part of me was really happy. I love my life. I may not be able to be that spontaneous anymore, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love Jared and Sam and the life that we have together. We have great families and friends and our life seems so much more rich. Not literally....who has a kid for the money? Really? Maybe I should say fulfilling. That sounds better. When I think back on days of dating guys and shopping and going out on the town it just seems so pointless. Not that I was a party girl at all, but it just seems like a waste of time. Even though sometimes I feel like I'm an old lady now...if you knew the doctors I've been to you'd know how old I feel....I'm thankful for the season of life that I'm in.

And as much as it pains me to say this: I would even be okay with a minivan. Okay...well...maybe a suburban or something. Baby steps...

Look Who's Walking Now...or at least standing

2010-07-31T08:58:00.001-07:00

Standing up is cool when you've got something to play with!

See, I can do this!

Grrr...this is my bear face!

Sometimes, I think he is going to be traumatized as a child.

Feeling Indifferent Today?

2010-07-31T08:39:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to the Astros game with a group of about 45 from the church. It was great fun, and I'll be sure to post some pictures later, but for right now Sam is with his Memaw which leaves me the opportunity to take the time to post what I'm feeling right now. Like I said, last night we were at the Astros game. When we bought the tickets it was great b/c there was a deal where you buy the tickets and get a voucher for unlimited food and drink for the game. Great, right? Right. So of course we weren't the only church to do that! Some of our group got split up b/c we had sooo many tickets to order so we were with the split up group. At first we didn't notice anything, but then as my "never meet a stranger" husband met some guy, he told us the entire section was all Second Baptist Church satellite campuses and I think just one SS class. The funny thing was half of them didn't know each other. Anyway, as I began listening and watching people interact with their kids (that's what I do these days), I began to think about how it must be nice to leave in the city. Such an exciting life. So many things to do. So close together. Then this morning, I was looking at pictures from my sister about all the different hikes and "adventures" they go on and I began to feel the same way again. I wish we lived somewhere fun like that! That's what I was thinking. But then I realized that I wouldn't trade where we are for anything in the world. Our families are close, close enough to keep Sam for us when we want to go to an Astros game or I need to go to the dr. or something like that. The people that we serve through the church or community are all right next to us. We don't have exciting things to go and do which leaves us more time for "community" within our houses. And me knowing me, chances are, if I was living somewhere with all these things to do....I would still want to stay at home and play with Sam. :) So for a brief moment, I thought the grass looked greener on the other side. Then I thought about maybe calling my mom up to meet for lunch and go shopping or something. I like that much better than having everything under the sun to choose to do each day.

~Elizabeth

A Trip Down Memory Lane

2010-07-25T13:56:00.001-07:00

Since the arrival of the digital age, I've become REALLY bad about "printing out" pictures and putting them in photo albums. I have them all saved and chronologicalized on my computer and I will print some to frame, but the random snapshots of life are on my computer and not in paper form. Today I found a box full of old pictures. It was actually a recipe box full of pictures, which tells you exactly how much cooking I really do. :) Anyway, as I sat there I found pictures from lots of different time periods in my life. I found some from the summer after my freshmen year of college when I worked with my home church as their children's intern. These kids are now going to prom (Yikes!). I found pictures of when I was children's intern the next summer at Crossroads in Marshall. These kids are now in high school getting ready to drive. (Double Yikes!) I found pictures of when it snowed in Marshall while Jared and I were dating. Pictures of me trying on wedding dresses with my mom. And my favorite one was of the girls in our youth group. For my birthday one year, they sent me on a scavenger hunt throughout the church and parsonage (our first house). While I was "scavenging" they had transformed the youth room into a romantic dinner for two. Complete with a dozen red roses, a framed picture of Jared and I at the youth Rangers game, candles, and even name cards. It was the funnest time! They were so proud of their hard work and it was such a sweet thing for them to do for me!

It got me thinking about all the people we've met and all the places we've been. We've served in several different churches both as singles and as a married couple. We've moved in several houses and several cities, but the impact that people have made on our lives is irreplaceable. We may not get to visit with those people as much as we'd like, but the memories and their testimonies have impacted our lives forever. The lives that they lived and the ministries they've had, have in turn affected our lives and our ministries. I just think that that's amazing.

We're all so different and all from different walks of life and in different seasons of life, but the one uniting factor was, and still is, our love for the Lord. That may be the only thing we have in common with a lot of people, but it's amazing how that love can unite even the most different of people. And isn't that what the church is supposed to be about? Not all the same people, of the same color, of the same economic status all coming together. But different people, of different tribes and tongues coming together to proclaim the name of Jesus!

I'm starting something new that I've never done before. Maybe you have, but I haven't. We talked in Sunday School this morning about fasting. What is it? What is the purpose of it? Why don't we do it anymore? In discussing these things, we basically came to the conclusion that it is biblical, we should do it, and the reason we don't is because it requires a level of sacrifice and discipline that is unpracticed and frankly unwelcoming. We are accustomed to "cheap grace" where everything is easy and we leave out the hard stuff. I am beginning a fast (of what I'm not sure of yet) to fervently pray for our church. Not just the church, but the people, the finances, the ministry that we do, the ministry that we don't do, etc. This morning Jared preached about how giving isn't a financial issue, it's a heart issue. I think fasting is the same thing. It's not about "not eating". It's about removing things from your life so that you are more devoted and dependent on God.

So my hope is that through fasting, I will become closer to the Lord and that He will be my sustenance. Maybe there's something in your life that needs removing too. I challenge you to begin this journey with me.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

~Elizabeth

Vacation Pics ~ Frio River 2010

2010-07-24T08:20:00.001-07:00

All of us on the tree roots. We've taken the picture here for as long as I can remember with our family and friends. Good times, good times.

Our first family picture on the tree roots. Sam had such a good time and it was the perfect place to go for our first family vacation.

Apparently Sam is going through some crazy growth spurt because all he wanted to do was eat. As you can see here, he became quite cozy in Gran and PawPaw's chairs with his snacks.

Family picture down at the river.

Sometimes the water was just too cold for that little man and he just wanted to snuggle. That was okay with me.

It took him awhile to get used to the float PawPaw Mel bought him, but he decided he liked it. Especially b/c he was floating with his cousins around.

Cousin Jake let Sam play with his toy water guns...just having some fun with "Dada"

This picture will one day circulate whenever Sam brings a girl home to meet us I'm sure.

2010-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time blogger buddies. We've been running the roads and when I'm actually on the computer I'm doing my GT certification. Next year I'll be teaching the gifted and talented kiddos so I had to get my 30 hour certification. Have I been doing my awful technology training that's required? Ummm...that's a negative. Sorry JISD.

Let's see...where to begin.

We sold Jared's truck! Woo Hoo! We are very excited to have that extra money each month which apparently will go straight to my vehicle that keeps falling apart. We went on vacation for a few days to the Frio River (pics to come soon) and while we were gone a couple came to check out the casa. They really enjoyed it and in fact have settled on it if they could only sell their house. So here's the situation: If and when mystery couple #1 sells their house they can buy our house. Then we (couple #2...stay with me here) can move into another house. So all the dominoes are in place, we're just waiting for one to fall. Very exciting nonetheless.

I finally go see the RA doctor in two weeks. I go see the GI doctor next week. I'm pretty sure that I'm falling apart way before my warranty is up.

Sam's bday bash is well on it's way. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sooo excited! I can't wait to see his cake and just have fun spending the day with him! We plan on having LOTS of water fun for the kiddos!

I think that about wraps things up. I'll be sure and post pics from our vacation when it's not 1 in the morning! YIKES!

Waiting

2010-06-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been doing a lot of this lately...waiting. Waiting to hear from the bank, waiting for Jared's truck to sell, waiting for our house to sell, waiting to hear back from doctors. There's been a lot of waiting going on in the Hollier house. While this would be awesome if we were both patient people, we are not. I wouldn't even consider Jared and I mildly patient. We're not....at.all. Needless to say, the Lord has been really working on my faith in Him. I'm not quite at the point of sharing everything with the cyber world, but I'll get there. And when I do, I will only give God the glory for it.

I'm learning that when I say I trust God that means that I trust Him in good and bad circumstances. When I say He is Lord of my life, He is Lord during the good and bad. That is becoming more real to me everyday. Please pray for our little family. We're going through a lot of uncertainty and waiting right now that's not always easy for us impatient ones.

Small victories

2010-06-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today was the second day of trying to create some independance for Sam. After asking friends for advice and reading some other babywise blogs, I've started putting Sam in his pack and play for some "solo" playtime in his room. Day 1: Cried the entire time. Day 2: Cried for 15 minutes and right before I went to get him, silence...well except for the sound of blocks crashing together. So, I kept him in there to play some more. He did great, until the phone rang and he remembered that momma was home somewhere. But by then, it was time for a nap so it was okay. I got the house cleaned and Sam was able to play some by himself. I'm hoping that he will be able to come to enjoy these solo playtimes and that he would learn to play some on his own. The next two days will be a little different since I've got workshops and Jared's at youth camp. But, hopefully we'll get back on track and by the time I start school he'll be a walking, talking, pretoddler! Ah!!!! It's so hard being gone during the school year and then home during the summer, but I think Sam and I are enjoying it and making the transition well. We even went to a used book store today and the owner gave Sam a free book! I've been looking for some board books for Sam to read/chew. He's really into animals...giraffes specifically, as crazy as that may sound. The bookstore guy said that they have someone read to the kids on Saturdays and then the kids all get to get a free book from the treasure chest so maybe that will be a summer tradition that we start. I want to take Sam to the zoo this summer, but Jared says he's too young and it's too hot. Does anyone have any good ideas/not too expensive ideas of things to do with a 10 month old in the heat of summer? I'd love to hear what you guys are doing! We've been going to the lake and probably will take many more trips but other than that, what do you do??? Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Enjoy your day!

#1 Dad of the Year!

2010-06-20T20:25:00.001-07:00

Here are some moments that captured our day. Up top...this might be the funniest face ever! This is Sam and Daddy wrestling on the floor. (Check out those eyes!) On the left, this is Sam right before he stood by himself for a few seconds! We're getting there. Unfortunately, I can't get it on camera yet! Soon, I'm sure!

This was the moment that my husband stole my heart one more time. You have to know Jared to really experience the fullness of the moment. Jared has never held a baby before they were two months old, and if they were extra tiny, maybe even longer than that! He's always been afraid of breaking them...which had always been my fear too. But when our little man came into the world, it was like a switch was flipped on. From the guy who was afraid to hold a baby to a Daddy who looked just perfect holding his firstborn son. I remember laying there in the OR watching Jared holding Sam and thinking "He looks just like a pro holding him". My how the time has flown by since that day.

I'm so incredibly thankful for the husband and Daddy that Jared is. He is already such a great dad to Sam. I'm so thankful that Jared listens to His Heavenly Father in order to be such an amazing earthly father to Sam. For that we are both truly blessed.

Happy Father's Day, Jared! I love you!

~Elizabeth

Needing some advice....

2010-06-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say, I love my son. He is one of the highlights of my life. But...since being home for the summer I've realized something. Sam is a momma's boy. Now, I've known this (and loved this) all along, but he has since become VERY clingy. Clingy to the point that if I'm around he won't do anything without me. I am new at this motherhood thing, and just when I think I've got him figured out he changes! Ha! I'm sure that we'll be doing this all his life, poor thing. Anyway, I just wanted some advice from some mommas out there on how you help get past this. I want him to be able to play by himself some and even go to other people. Right now he's at the point where he's starting to get even a bit anxious about going to other people, which I certainly don't want. I've been praying about this for a while and it seems like it's gotten worse since I've been home from school and even worser still since he's been sick. I'm just asking for advice on what to do...I'll be the first to recognize that I don't have the answers, nor will I ever. But I know that God has blessed many of you with children who may have gone through the same things. So, if you will be so kind as to give me some advice or lead me to someone's advice I would be sooooo appreciative! Thanks a bunch!
~Elizabeth

We Did It!!!

2010-06-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is Sam's certificate of achievement that says he can advance to Intro. to Swim next year! Woo Hoo! Sam's real excited, can't you tell? I was so proud of him...it took him a while, but I can really tell he's making progress. Sam can kick his legs, hold his breath, go under water, reach and grab things under and above water, and he basically just likes the water much better now. Well worth it! Hopefully it will pay off when we go to the lake tomorrow and when we go to the Frio River later in July. Yay! I was so proud of him!

Just one of many proud moments to come, I'm sure! :)

My sick patient...

2010-06-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

Having a sick child is the worst! Especially when they're babies and they can't tell you exactly what hurts. We have been very blessed with a healthy boy. Besides his momma's allergies, he's never been sick. In the 10 months of his life, we've never had to go to the dr. before our three month checkups....until today. Sam has been feeling awful, and I mean awful! So awful that for three days straight all he did was eat, sleep, and wail...yes I said wail. Not cry, sob, or wimper. WAIL! That's how I knew something was up. Normally when his allergies start acting up, he's kinda fussy and you can see it in his eyes that he doesn't feel good, but this was different. He wasn't sleeping like he normally does, his nose was a drippy faucet, and he had the most heart breaking cough you've ever heard. So today we went to the dr. and found out that Sam has the croup and ear inflammation or "swimmer's ear". I was relieved to know that I wasn't being overly dramatic as a new mother and that we've finally got LOTS of medicine to make him feel better. We haven't been to swim lessons the past two days, but the dr. said it would be okay for us to go as long as we used the drops he gave us. Hopefully he'll start to get back to his old self soon.

It's the most heart breaking thing I've ever experienced. To know that something's wrong, but not know what it is or what to do to fix it. I imagine that this is somewhat how God feels when something's wrong with us. He wants to fix it, He wants to make us feel better, but we do things our own way. There were times I would try and console Sam and he was just wail even louder. Sometimes I feel like I do the same with God. I wail and cry out and when God tries to help, I just cry even louder b/c it's just not what I want. How I pray that my heart would want what God wants. That when God tries to comfort me that I would rest in His care. Trust in His promises. After all, He is the Great Physician. He can heal all wounds. If we just let Him.

~Elizabeth

My little musician

2010-06-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

Prayer Request

2010-06-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Jared & I have been talking and praying for some time now about selling our house. We've lived in it for a little over two years now and have put in A LOT of tender loving care. And I do mean A LOT! But, in an effort to be better stewards with the money God has given us, we've decided to move closer into "town" and search for something smaller and in need of less tlc. To some people this doesn't make any sense at all. But we are trying to make smart decisions even if that means we have to be more inconvenienced. Like for example, some people see a house with less room as a bad thing. To me, I think about having to keep necessities and not hoard a bunch of junk. Sam will have more opportunities to give away his toys instead of letting stacks of toys be shoved into a closet somewhere. We will all have more opportunity to give things away, which I think is a great thing. The realtor came to our house today and looked around. We told her everything that we had done to the house and what our "long term" dreams had been, but we just ran out of time, energy, and money. It seems that we will be able to sell our home for more than we bought it for. This is a HUGE praise! My gut reaction was to up our price range, but then the Lord reminded me what we originally had in mind in the first place...to be better stewards of the money that God has given us. So, if our house sells for the price range she gave us, we'll be able to pay off some of our debt! WooHoo! It's a small chunk compared to the gigantic college loans that we face, but it's a step in the right direction....the debt free direction! We are by no means struggling. We just want to be able to be debt free (except for our house) and be able to focus more on giving to others financially. We want to be able to pay for Sam's college so he won't have to deal with what we're dealing with. We want to be able to be financial blessings to others who may be struggling. All of these things are how we feel we are being better stewards with God's money. So my prayer request is that our house would sell. We would be able to pay off some debt, and make steps in the right direction toward being debt free (cars, loans, you name it). That would be a huge burden off of us. Please join us in praying for this big prayer request.

Update on swimming lessons

2010-06-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well, we are now almost finished with week 1 of swimming lessons. Sam is doing better. He still likes the water so I guess that's good, right? He's starting to enjoy some of the activities that they do in the water. He just hates, and I mean HATES, some of the other things...for example: he refuses to kick his legs, and he screams the minute I put him on his back to float. Other than that, he enjoys swimming. His favorite part is getting to play in the hot tub after lessons. The teacher lets us moms spend the last 5 minutes in the hot tub partly to let the babies relax and enjoy the water but also to help us moms relax before the screaming begins again when the changing of the bathing suits begins. I'm hoping that this will all pay off in the long run. That Sam will learn to swim better than his momma and that he will be confident in the water. Right now, it's a gamble everyday from 6-6:30 to see how Sam will respond to the various factors that will in turn affect his mood in the pool. Yesterday Sam's allergies started acting up and he felt awful. I debated taking him at all, but decided to. And wouldn't you know it, Sam had his best day yet! I'm really excited that this weekend is my nephews' birthday parties...and it's a swimming party! I'm excited to see them and also excited that Sam will be able to play in the water and enjoy himself. Last year at this time, Heather (my sil) and I were both BIG preggo! She was about to have Gavin and I was just 2 months from having Sam. My feet were awful swollen...I could barely walk on them..my how time flies! Can't wait to visit with them! I'll be sure and post some pics of Sam and his cousins playing this weekend!
~Elizabeth

Swimming Lessons

2010-06-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day of mommy and me swimming lessons. I was a little anxious simply because it was something new. I didn't know what to expect, who would be there, and the only things I heard about it were that all the babies cried because they got dunked underwater. Geez... We got there early, because it's forever etched in my brain that early is on time, on time is late, and late is dead. I somehow remember that banner hanging up in our band hall. I wasn't even in band but I remember that sign. Anyway, I was afraid lessons would be canceled since it had rained all day, but they were on. After everyone gets there it's time to get in. There were only about 5 other moms and babies so it wasn't too bad, but all the other babies looked a lot older than Sam. Most of them were walking. I immediately did the thing you're NEVER supposed to do as a mother...I started comparing Sam to the other babies. I watched to see how they handled being in the water, how they kicked their legs (which Sam couldn't do), how they floated on their backs (which Sam hated and screamed the whole time)...you get the picture. I left there with a lump in my throat and all the insecurities in the world popping in my mind. What if Sam is developmentally behind? What if we're too protective? What if we're not exposing him to enough? And the what ifs kept going on and on and on. I have come to realize since becoming a mother that my insecurities haven't gone away, they've only doubled. I now worry about doing the right thing for Sam and if I'm being a good mom. I have also come to realize a few things about myself in the process. 1. I am not a huge social butterfly. I have a few very close friends that I can share anything with, but not a mass amount of friends. I used to think that that was wrong, but now I'm realizing that that's just who I am. 2. Satan certainly knows my weaknesses, but it's my choice that's going to allow him to fill me with self doubt. God is so much bigger than my insecurities. 3. The only way I can or ever will be a good mother is by God's grace alone. Leaving it up to me is too big of a gamble for me to play. I know that God's wisdom is perfect and He alone can give me what I need to give to Sam.

So even though day 1 of swim lessons was quite full of anxiety, I'm confident that tomorrow will be better, that's a fact. :)

~Elizabeth

Family Carnival

2010-06-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

We had our first VBS weekend and I think it went great. Tonight we had our family carnival, and I think everyone had a blast. It was stinkin' hot, but what else is new in Texas, right? Anyway, Sam had fun and even took a little nap during all the craziness!

Family photo shoot...Sam is reclining and relaxing! I knew that stroller would come in handy one day! Ha!

One of the perks of being a preacher's kid: You get to go in the bouncy house before everyone else! Sam wasn't really sure what to think about all those balls, but he came around.

You mean I get to play with all of these balls by myself??? Sweet!

Is it sad that my child is already trained to smile when we hold the camera out? He is his mother's son....check out the tropical shirt....it went with the theme "Diving for God's Treasure".

VBS was a huge success! Jessica and Leslie did an amazing job! Next week is sure to be busy as well. We start mommy and me swim lessons for the next two weeks so I know Sam is going to love that! Stay tuned for more pics to come of our summer fun!

~Elizabeth